夢と現実の間
Between dreams and reality
負ける気がしねぇ！！
Tracy desu yo, pessimist and world’s worst procrastinator. Uni student with still a lot of things to learn. Interests include otome games, Naruto and Japanese.
 : Loves pink, food, ice-cream.
Summer is my eternal love.
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storm inside
written on Tuesday, November 11, 2014 @ 1:18 AM ✈
Here I am again, at 1am (kinda rhymes). Ah, so I figured out the word I was looking for yesterday when I was trying to describe how I was feeling. Defeated. Yep, that's the word. I just feel like letting everything pass by because I just don't have the strength or willpower to do anything about anything anymore.
In the past couple of weeks we've had 2 big thunderstorms, they were pretty loud and must have been close because the house even shook quite a bit. I have to admit I like thunderstorms, they seem pretty characteristic of summer because after long hot days there'd usually be one in the evening. For some reason, recently I seem to like them even more. Sometimes when I come out of the train station when I go to uni the sky is all dark and grey and looks like it'll rain heavily. I think the old me would have been like "oh dear, I hope I can get to uni before it rains" but now if I see a gloomy sky I feel relief. I guess there's a strange sense of comfort when the sky looks as bad as you feel sometimes. Likewise, when it's sunny I just feel out of place now.
So my conservation exam was in room 444 and I also parked on level 4 today. Here's to hoping that four 4's will bring me good luck (contrary to what Chinese people say, 4 is my lucky number). The exam wasn't too bad, I don't know why everyone complained about the turtle shell question since that was explained and was straightforward but I won't judge because there are a lot of things people get that I don't and I understand that. I lost a mark in the reptile family question which I knew would happen and was prepared for it. Why? They wanted us to remember all these family names and what belongs where and it sounds simple but I suck with extensive remembering and to be honest no matter how long I spent on it I just couldn't do it so yeah. I'm glad it wasn't worth too much though (but I was prepared to just lose it all anyway). Just for randomness if you're interested the question was: "Name which family these animals come from (2marks) - Red bellied black snake, Brown tree snake, Shingleback lizard, Snake necked turtle." To be honest I don't even know how I managed to remember red bellied black snake and snake necked turtle so at least I got half. The rest I brain farted and just left.
So I don't know why but today after I came back I just felt too tired on the inside to study for my next exam (which isn't unusual). For some reason mum told me "Don't worry so about exams, it's fine as long as you pass." I was so taken aback. I don't know, I'm 99.9999999% sure I give off the impression I do no work or minimal work so does it look like I'm stressing? And she didn't even say it in a mean/sarcastic way, she actually meant it. I even asked "So you mean you don't care as long as I get 50?" and she said yes. What even happened I'm so lost, when has it been okay to "just pass"....
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storm inside
written on Tuesday, November 11, 2014 @ 1:18 AM ✈
Here I am again, at 1am (kinda rhymes). Ah, so I figured out the word I was looking for yesterday when I was trying to describe how I was feeling. Defeated. Yep, that's the word. I just feel like letting everything pass by because I just don't have the strength or willpower to do anything about anything anymore.
In the past couple of weeks we've had 2 big thunderstorms, they were pretty loud and must have been close because the house even shook quite a bit. I have to admit I like thunderstorms, they seem pretty characteristic of summer because after long hot days there'd usually be one in the evening. For some reason, recently I seem to like them even more. Sometimes when I come out of the train station when I go to uni the sky is all dark and grey and looks like it'll rain heavily. I think the old me would have been like "oh dear, I hope I can get to uni before it rains" but now if I see a gloomy sky I feel relief. I guess there's a strange sense of comfort when the sky looks as bad as you feel sometimes. Likewise, when it's sunny I just feel out of place now.
So my conservation exam was in room 444 and I also parked on level 4 today. Here's to hoping that four 4's will bring me good luck (contrary to what Chinese people say, 4 is my lucky number). The exam wasn't too bad, I don't know why everyone complained about the turtle shell question since that was explained and was straightforward but I won't judge because there are a lot of things people get that I don't and I understand that. I lost a mark in the reptile family question which I knew would happen and was prepared for it. Why? They wanted us to remember all these family names and what belongs where and it sounds simple but I suck with extensive remembering and to be honest no matter how long I spent on it I just couldn't do it so yeah. I'm glad it wasn't worth too much though (but I was prepared to just lose it all anyway). Just for randomness if you're interested the question was: "Name which family these animals come from (2marks) - Red bellied black snake, Brown tree snake, Shingleback lizard, Snake necked turtle." To be honest I don't even know how I managed to remember red bellied black snake and snake necked turtle so at least I got half. The rest I brain farted and just left.
So I don't know why but today after I came back I just felt too tired on the inside to study for my next exam (which isn't unusual). For some reason mum told me "Don't worry so about exams, it's fine as long as you pass." I was so taken aback. I don't know, I'm 99.9999999% sure I give off the impression I do no work or minimal work so does it look like I'm stressing? And she didn't even say it in a mean/sarcastic way, she actually meant it. I even asked "So you mean you don't care as long as I get 50?" and she said yes. What even happened I'm so lost, when has it been okay to "just pass"....
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Japan and Korea 2015 Masterlist
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Summer TO-DO List
((to be updated as I think of more things while I procrastinate))
✮ Foster kittens
✮ Clean out closet
✮ Make LOTS of ice-cream
✮ Bake + Cook (and use the molds and kits I bought from Japan)
✮ Study Japanese (JLPT N2 level)
✮ Learn basic Korean sentence structures
✮ Play Dousei Kareshi (~50 hours right there, what with my slow Japanese reading speed)
✮ Finishing playing Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Revolution
✮ Buy Naruto -The Last- Movie DVD and then rewatch it
✮ Start applying for things……..
✮ Invite people over to drink the endless amounts of tea I have
✮ Make things with the alcohol and liquor stash I have (lol)
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my sunshine
links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first
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