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夢と現実の間
Between dreams and reality

負ける気がしねぇ!!

Tracy desu yo, pessimist and world’s worst procrastinator. Uni student with still a lot of things to learn. Interests include otome games, Naruto and Japanese.

: Loves pink, food, ice-cream.

Summer is my eternal love.



Waiting for:


chitchat:



recent update :
written on Monday, June 30, 2014 @ 10:41 PM ✈

Holy cow I'm so tired, you have no idea how physically and mentally draining it is to run around doing all sorts of tasks from 8:30 to 5 and driving there and back. Totally getting extra night hours, driving back when it's dark and sitting on the M4 crawling at a funny 5 km/h while staring at the moon in the black starless sky.

Also my nose is completely blocked I can't breathe through it and blowing it does nothing.

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written on Sunday, June 29, 2014 @ 11:25 PM ✈

lol oops it's 11:30 and I doubt I'll even be asleep by midnight but I have to wake up at 6am to get to work experience tomorrow and I'll be out for at least 12 hours before I even see home again...

The end of last week wasn't the best (of course there were good moments when I saw everyone again) so I hope keeping busy will keep my mind off things. There's so much more I had wanted to write about things that happened but it feels like I've been to busy (and lazy) OTL 

Waking up early during holidays is so painful but I hope it will remind me what's important.

Stomach is still kind of acting weird but I just realised there's no real time to go see the doctor's since I'm out during their normal work hours, not to mention my doctor has gone off to Japan for a family reunion. SO jealous, btw he isn't Japanese so I wonder why they are holding a reunion there?

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written on Saturday, June 28, 2014 @ 9:44 PM ✈

So so so tired ever since 9pm I feel like I'm just going to fall off the face of the earth. But can't go to sleep yet since bed isn't warm and it's just too early and it feels like a waste.

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lost purpose
written on Thursday, June 26, 2014 @ 11:31 PM ✈

As much as I say I hate exams I think the day of the last exam is always really hard for me. I spend all my time cramming and suddenly I have all this free time and I just feel lost. Somehow it's not as satisfying as playing games when you should be studying. I feel like I have nothing to do. But ahahaha "lucky" it's not for long because say goodbye to sleeping in for the next 2 weeks because placement 8:30 to 5pm in the city GG. 

Don't even want to think about today's and yesterday's exam. Just so bad. Everything I knew "well" was not in there and they asked the most trolly stuff. I don't even want to think about what the examiner thinks when they mark my paper. I just can't deal with short and long answers AND I always get tricked by their over worded multiple choice. Easily going to get 50% on my papers and would be lucky to get credit average this time round. Oh times have fallen from last year, when my lowest was 74 which is credit but so borderline distinction.

Yeah I think the examiners will think I'm on crack or something, my answers were so stupid and obviously wrong and didn't answer the question but I had nothing to say. And now I have a killer headache like I'm hungover but I didn't even drink (btw I don't know what a hangover feels like, never had one). Maybe has something to do with the fact that my two hour exam was spent sitting next to a giant TV screen like touch computer which had a timer and for some reason when everyone else's screens in the room where white mine was this gross weird bright blue tinge that is so painful on the eye? Btw I find it so funny how the uni actually has these plastic boards with G clamps so they can tighten it around tables so you can't see the work of the person next to you. LOL I don't know if UNSW does this but I find it hilarious how they always pull up a word document on the projector with exam details and numbers, as well as a giant internet clock so everyone can see the time.

Also why does our uni have two engineering drawing offices?? Went to the wrong place and saw that the exam was on "cardiovascular respiratory anatomy" and I can't believe a whole subject is called that and I was like "omg wth this is not my exam I was already tested on this yesterday!!!" Thankfully my friends got my call and led me in the right direction @_@ Very first question already trolled me because when I was studying my thought process was "there's no info on plant cells in our lectures, plus we learn about animals so I won't need this!" First question: "In a plant cell..." 

WHAT (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Also it's been three weeks or so since my stomach problems. I thought they were getting better for a bit but since this week the barf reflex has returned nice and strong. Don't want breakfast or lunch and thoughts of things like fried egg or meat makes me want to puke. Wasting away :/ And now with all this time I can't help but think about that one day which sucks. Ironically the one time I don't think about it is during my exams, in all four of them I never thought about it for a second. But now I guess it'll keep resurfacing in my mind day and night.

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400th post
written on Tuesday, June 24, 2014 @ 9:52 PM ✈

and it's going to be a rant OTL

So much regret after the stats exam yesterday. You honestly cannot waste a second or you will never finish, it's honestly jam packed. I already lost 6 marks purely due to wrong or no working so I can kiss my 92 goodbye T_T I knew ANOVA would be my downfall because it was the first thing we learnt (so you forget a lot) but wow they put so many trick questions in our paper. I screwed up the very first question and it took me half an hour to fix my ANOVA table. Half an hour!! And that just rolled on and ruined the rest of my exam. But I had to fix it or that whole section would have been screwed. After that half hour I had the most painful headache ever, it honestly felt like my mind was filled with heavy fog and I couldn't really think clearly the rest of the exam x_x

Ironically regression was my best section. It's ironic because for the prac exam and assignment on regression I got full marks even though I didn't really know if what I was doing was right. Regression is too broad because of picking variables, so as long as you justify it correctly you can be right. There was one question I didn't do because it was talking about assumptions of independent observations or whatever and we never learnt this??

Aaaaaand matrices was my last part which I thought would be okay except they really trolled it and the matrix we had to inverse was ugly and I wasted 15 minutes trying to row reduce it, it never worked and I gave up and used my method (and finally got it). Then the next one we had to solve, after I row reduced it I got a row of zeros = no solution and I was like omg what this is worth 3 marks it can't end like this. But I didn't have time to redo and check :/ Doesn't seem right for the question to say "solve" and to get no solution... == Worst part was when I just had two lines to go in my proof for the very last question and then it was pens down sigh. First time not finishing stats I'm so sad. Also why in the matrices section do we have to do like a whole page of working out for just two marks? Crazy.

Oh lol, what I like about steady state vector questions is the weird things they get us to prove. Like the question we did was "in the long run, how many days a week will be rainy?" Based on the probability that when it's sunny, 70% chance it will be sunny next day and 30% it will be rainy. The answer is in the long run there will be 3 days a week that is rainy = almost half a week isn't that crazy! (If it were true LOL). Oh btw my stomach never ended up growling, just goes to show my stomach isn't really working properly right now.

Anyway, I literally studied the whole day (12 hours) on structure and function and thought the info was sinking in until I looked at this past paper and now I'm dying on the inside. Tomorrow's is "only" 40% (midsem was 30%) so it feels like not much difference but I honestly suck at gastrointestinal tract and the heart. Oh dear the heart, I really can't learn it. I'm still scarred from when we did it in year 8 and I failed it horribly. It doesn't help that some questions are so specific and are worth 8 or 9 marks so if you really don't know you're actually screwed. There's just too many questions.

And day after tomorrow is VETS (cell bio) and it's 60%.... And I honestly haven't really studied so what's going to happen to me T_T Of all the things to put last it really should not have been vets.

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stats please save me
written on Sunday, June 22, 2014 @ 10:03 PM ✈

I just feel I'm not really in the right headspace for exams this time round due to that rough patch last week or whatever (I'm still in it). Even if I'm worried for the exam I can't do anything about it. I feel like I did 90% less preparation than I did this time last year (what with first set of uni exams and all). Doesn't help when everyone in our cohort is discussing their answers to past papers on our fb group page and I've only done one paper? I only physically did the paper with the answers cause I like checking... For the older papers I just read the questions but don't exactly do them.

Anyway stats tomorrow, 9am start which means crowded morning train :/ It's a 3 hour exam so even though I have no appetite I'm still sure my stomach is going to growl and embarrass me since it'll go til lunch time. As much as I really want to keep my 92 score in stats (what I got last year) I'm not sure that's possible. It's because last year we had the "basic" stats (I'm not saying it's easy because it's not) but the algebra section was literally just normal differentiation and integration which we had done since year 11 so I hardly needed to practice it and the test was pretty good.

Buuuut this time it's obviously harder statistics and unfortunately it's no longer basic HSC algebra but matrices which CAN get tricky. I looked at our old tutorial sheets and the end questions are crazy, they're like twice as hard as those "extension" questions we used to get in our Cambridge textbooks which I always felt was more 4u than 3u (teacher said so too). Anyway luckily, when looking at past papers the matrices section looks quite enjoyable and it literally has the same idea as what we did for our assignment so hopefully it goes fine. 

Not loving how the exam is 50% lol and that each section (ANOVA, regression, matrices -- in that order) is like 40%, 30%, 30% of the test or something. Too much stats not enough linear algebra :( I calculated my marks and I'm currently sitting on 93.69417989 for 50% but how much of the other 50% I can get I don't know... I think my cohort is grateful the matrices part was purposely dumbed down because if it weren't, no offence but a lot of them would struggle. They're stronger at remembering science stuff and not maths whereas I suck at pointless remembering so yeah. 

Looking at past papers is hilarious because the wording is LITERALLY exactly the same, but obviously the actual data and even experiment type is different (so method to solve it is different) but the actual question is the same haha OTL

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written on Saturday, June 21, 2014 @ 10:23 PM ✈

So our GENE lecturer thought it would be a great idea to give our assignments back today, the day OF our exam. We handed that thing in all the way back in week 8 or something, ages ago and he took so long to mark x_x Suffice to say he said he'd be nice with marking which I can assure you he wasn't cause I got 15 point something out of 20 but I heard a lot of people did worse. I didn't think I was that off the mark though? And he did put up his answers online a couple of weeks ago (before giving our marks back) but reading it was pretty much pointless because I couldn't even remember 90% of what I wrote so yeah.

Anyway, I will give credit when credit is due. Which is to say that he could have made the test absolute hell for us but thankfully a lot of the questions were similar, if not exactly the same to the past papers so whew. And a lot of material I was super weak on (like all the bajillion types of epistasis) was thankfully not tested. Pity there wasn't any Hardy Weinberg though because test was non calculator and people find it difficult even with one so I know I would have majorly scored if we did have those questions T_T Our test room was extremely awkward because we sat on long tables, sitting ACROSS from each other omg. And my desk faced the window and I like to stare outside while I think but it probably looked like I was trying to cheat from the person sitting across from me x_x 

Oh btw when the exam is worth 60% and each "short answer" is worth 10% I'm just like 
 ┬─┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) Even funnier is the 10 multiple choice worth a total of 10% so one wrong and say goodbye to 1% of your grade. (I'm not good at multiple choice so I could have easily lost 5% there LOL).

I wrote 10 pages worth of stuff, that's probably a record. Though of course you have to discount math exams which take heaps of sheets because of working out. One down, three more horrible exams to go. Stats is next, which last year it took my whole 3 hours to do it because the harder questions I used all my time on at the end. Exams like science have heaps of time so to avoid being bored I take it super slow and try not to leave early, and today was no different. I'm surprised I actually remembered a lot of stuff? I thought everything disappeared from my mind as soon as I sat down and filled out my attendance slip. Though my head just feels really heavy from cramming. I wrote so much stuff about the origin of hexaploid bread wheat and why triploid prawns, fish and oysters are the greatest so ask me about it LOL

In exam unrelated news, I got completely screwed over by someone. And you know what? No point being upset about it, just going to use my anger to fuel the last battle. This week, it's on. Even if I don't win, I know I went down fighting which is more than enough. I'll show you, you dumbass hmph. I'll adopt what Tsunade said best in the Five Kage vs Madara scene in Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 which is 必ず潰す kanarazu tsubusu - I will crush you without fail.

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written on Friday, June 20, 2014 @ 10:46 PM ✈

Not looking forward to tomorrow, what with the first exam and all. I always feel chill up until the actual exam day which is when I realise just how screwed I am. I can honestly say I've never done an exam where I've understood all the material for it. I swear I always have massive holes in my knowledge x_x

Anyway something I really really hate is "short answers" because they are never half a page long and they always want us to write more than a page for each question > > So in tomorrow's GENE exam we have to do 4 of the 6 short answers at the end which have been the exact same questions 80% of the time in the last 3 years. But with our luck it's going to change completely this year OTL The other kids must have been so lucky


Oh and my seat number is 4443 tomorrow, if it was 4444 it'd feel so much better ^^

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kick me when I'm down, please, feel free
written on Wednesday, June 18, 2014 @ 12:05 PM ✈

Just as I'm struggling with studying for finals guess what comes out? Semester 2 timetables (I only know because we have a fb page for our group and people post these things there).


 
Click to make it bigger (oh what it doesn't work this time??)

Just... fml. Seriously doing my course is no joke, you honestly have to make sure you have no life because it feels like 2/3 of it is spent being at uni, the other 1/3 is 90% studying and 10% is spent trying to live (eating, sleeping). And also there is no such thing as holidays as we have to rack up 60 days of work experience (60 days may sound like nothing to you but just try it).

I count a potential 27 hours in there ugh. And more pracs seriously I can't deal with that, so bored by it!!! And tutorials for once yuck. And best part of all? Just look at my Thursdays. Couple of never before seen things which is 6:30 ends and 8 am starts (yup, I was lucky to not have those before). Who puts an exam on 8am Monday huh, WHO?! I'll come find you and shake you endlessly for your dumbness.

The fact that it took me two screenshots to get my timetable down says it all. I can't even read it properly without zooming in since it doesn't fit on my screen. Ugh how to survive to end of year just to be alive to do a bajillion more days of work experience...

EDIT: WOW WHAT A TROLL who the hell put an ATP class for me on thursday, and how do you expect me to get to there from main campus and back without a break in between? Especially when the ATP class is a tutorial meaning attendance compulsory and then there is an exam right after it which is obviously compulsory? For those that don't know station -> campus = 15 mins and station -> ATP = 15 mins IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. So ATP -> main campus = 30 minutes, and not to mention the test is at JDS which is actually all the way on vet side so expect another 10 minutes if you're fast = 40 minutes total. Whoever did that you are a genius, yes let me do the physically impossible.

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むかつく
written on Monday, June 16, 2014 @ 10:09 PM ✈

むかつく (mukatsuku) =(╬`д´)ノ

Today was a not so great day. Kinda feel screwed for finals and I won't be surprised if I get a credit average this time around. It's weird because even though I know I should study and I do, it's not for very long and it's not very effective either. I just feel like the info won't absorb no matter what I do and it feels like I've already given up. I don't know if you guys are the kind of people who like to do past papers religiously but I swear I only do one or two per subject since most don't have answers and I've very anti-doing papers that don't have answers, only because I find it pointless to do it and not be able to check if you are right? It leaves me too uneasy so I don't do it in the first place. Yes, I was the kind of student who did maths and checked the answers at the back of the textbook every two questions OTL

Ughhh but yeah I know I'm not studying enough but yet I don't do anything about it. And I always find it ironic how we are made to demonstrate pretty much all our knowledge on a unit in only 2 hours. I mean, GENE exam which is first for me is 60% and 2 hours. Is a test really the only way to show you I know things? Gene is the most scariest exam I think since it was the only one which didn't have a midsem so I have no idea what the paper will be like.

I guess the only test I "look forward" to doing is stats because I feel strongest on that (since it's not a remember everything illogical in science kind of paper). Last year it was the last test so I tried hard til the end but unfortunately it's second this time round, which means my "enthusiasm" and energy is probably going to die off straight after stats and I'll do poorly on the last 2 exams :/ 

Lastly arghhh I do not want to go to work tomorrow!!! Why is it every time when I have exams/assignments/ whatever my boss always calls me, or in this case texts me at 10pm and asks me to come in on the next day!!!! Last time I said no and he fully gave me a tone which sounded like I should have said yes but arghh. I just wanted to get through this exam period peacefully but no, once again someone doesn't show up last minute and I have to go. There goes a couple of hours of study. Honestly he better appreciate it because I'm not feeling pleased about this right now. 

When I'm studying I really can't take it when people talk to me endlessly, or when I answer a couple of their questions and they just keep going. I'm a really crabby student now :/ Talk to me after I finish exams!!!!

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手を叩く
written on Saturday, June 14, 2014 @ 10:13 PM ✈

I'm clapping and laughing like a mad person
At this rate, I'm going to cry again for a long time
I'm standing like I lost something
For having a thought, a thought about you
I'm suddenly excitedly laughing and clapping again


I'm so cra-cra-crazy
Cra-cra-crazy
Maybe I can't stop
Look at me going crazy
I remember you again, I'm crying and laughing
Maybe I can't end it
Look at me, I'm getting tired

Who do you think you are?
Why did you appear in my memory and mess it up?
If I thought about it again, it's all lies
Why do I keep thinking about it? I'm only going crazy
I'm only going to rot if I try to throw away reality


Even though I heard this song two years ago, that moment when all of a sudden I didn't just appreciate it but really understood it, was really something. (By the way it's a translation). I honestly feel exactly like this, though I'm not crying so don't worry. I think I'm just laughing at it all stupidly.

Also today was the first day in a while since my parents were home with me for breakfast (since thanks to stuvac = no uni = wake up after they've left) and mum noticed how little I ate and tried to get me to eat more. Unfortunately it's not as simple as that :/ And after I got back home from work she asked me if I ate any lunch which I hadn't because I couldn't stomach it and I knew that not eating makes her concerned but I can't do anything T_T So yeah the past week was basically minimal or no breakfast and lunch but no one told me off since no one was at home. Mum says I have panda eyes (chinese) now because I just have really big dark circles around my eyes from not being healthy.

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dream power
written on Friday, June 13, 2014 @ 10:30 PM ✈

First off, THANK YOU SO MUCH HAPPY APPLE for the wall stickers (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू) Was honestly in shock when I woke up at 9am (yes I know it's late) to the mailman banging on our door and by the time I ran out I just found a tube on our porch and I was thinking that it couldn't possibly be mine since I hadn't ordered anything online in a while but when I opened it I was so touched by your thoughtfulness and your generosity especially because the last couple of days haven't been great (;´Д`) So it really cheered me up!

Random note: almost forgot it was Friday the 13th today! Nothing ever really happens on it though haha. 

So yesterday I did feel hungry really late at night but we ran out of bread which was the only thing I thought I could stomach so I had to look for something else. Found a can of peaches which looked decent but then I'm a can opener noob and all I managed to make was a couple of holes but couldn't get it to open (also I'm left handed so I can't turn it well?) so I just went to bed without eating anything OTL

I feel super guilty because it's only 10 o'clock but I honestly physically cannot study anymore tonight even though I know I'll be doomed if I stop. My head is actually pounding really hard (I guess this is what it would feel like if you were hungover but I wouldn't know) so I can't. I guess I did work the whole day though? But ahh I really cannot waste time like this!

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I think I somewhat have the capacity to manipulate my dreams just a bit. I don't really have the power to dream about certain things like say "oh I want to dream about x tonight!" and then I have that dream -- no nothing like that. Back in late primary school all the way to middle of high school I use to get dreams every night but then there was this time I felt like I only had 3 the whole year. Nowadays I think I might get a couple a month.

Honestly I miss when I used to always have dreams because to me they were fun adventures. I even used to write them down and when I found my book recently I had no idea what I was talking about because I only wrote it in short detail so it made no sense to me now OTL. Anyway yes, whenever I get nightmares or really strange dreams I don't like, the dream me always has this weird sense that just stops and goes "wait, this doesn't seem real. Wake up!" So usually I'm saved from nightmares pretty quickly and I'm just brought back to reality. Ahaha, I remember this dream I had in semester one last year that I got a credit in biology and dream me said "NOOOOO" and forced me to wake up.

Sometimes when I fall into a really light sleep just before I'm meant to wake up, or if I nap on the train I have these really short dreams that seem pretty realistic but the me inside just somehow knows it's not reality? But I find it entertaining and I tell myself "oh, well let's just see what happens if I do x!" Hmm sounds a little weird so let's think of an example. Ah this isn't really an example, but sometimes if I really liked a dream and I wake up suddenly thinking it's wake up time and it turns out it isn't, when I go back to sleep I can fall back into the dream and carry on normally.

And there are other times when it's a dream I DO like, but I know it's a dream and then I get to control it? Don't ask me why but once we were having a party in my backyard and it started raining, so I was like "okay let's stop this then" and I just raised my hands towards the sky and made it stop. Or when someone is chasing me and I feel they're gaining on me, the dream me tells me to fly and then up I go! Ah~~~ my dreams are so weird.

So two days ago on that really bad day I had (dream did not cause it though), I had a dream about Peter and Johnson this time. This is the first time I've had dreams about them so often. But anyway for some reason there were a lot of people gathered at this large paddock and we just all put our animals together so they could have fun. There were dogs, cats, goats(??) and I put Peter and Johnson there and I was watching them happily. For some reason we were lighting candles in the grass of the paddock because we were celebrating someone's birthday but they acted like fireworks and spluttered a bit (didn't go to the sky though) and made typical fireworks noises and scared the animals. And then I just spent the rest of the dream being distressed because I couldn't find Peter and Johnson. I don't know why but these are the dreams I never seem to successfully tell myself to wake up from...

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and it strikes
written on @ 12:27 PM ✈

omg what is this sensation... could it be...? I ACTUALLY FEEL HUNGRY. Except the irony is that there is nothing I "want" to eat or that my stomach seems to not object to so what do I do (~)

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written on Thursday, June 12, 2014 @ 10:17 PM ✈

Even though it's only been a short while I already think I can laugh at the irony of it all. I think now I can laugh at how you just threw me away without so much as saying anything. I think I can laugh about that stupid story you told me about some girl you met at KFC who you had a "connection" with. 

I guess it's a little scary to be on my own for the first time in so long but we were born this way right? So even though I was down I'm going to get back up. If I continue living like this being a brat then I'm just going to become more stupid. I'll just have to try to keep walking forward and see where this road goes.

If I were able to wish for one thing though, it's not to throw away objects related to you but to delete my memories (oh how I wish). Because apparently they don't mean anything to you so there's no point in me having them either. Funny how I'm too dumb to remember the important stuff (for exams and such) but I remember so many of our useless memories.

It's funny because even if I felt sad before nothing even comes out anymore and I think I'm already finding things funny in hindsight at how insignificant it all became. Am I seriously a masochist? I'll admit I still have moments where I get swallowed by the past and my mind just spirals but I have to discipline myself mentally or there's no going forward for me. LOL read on the internet that you should slap yourself in the face whenever that happens and yep, I actually tried it (damn am I actually a masochist??) and then it happened again but before I could raise my hand to slap myself I already flinched, funniest moment of today I guess.

Anyway suits could not have come back at a better time, thanks Shirls for telling me! Yeah, I suck at remembering when shows come back. The only thing I'm always up to date on is NARUTO!

EDIT: Oh lord the episode was so good, funny at the beginning and serious at the end and all in all I was happy I watched it, it really helped to lift me up a little. 

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written on @ 12:34 PM ✈

And today I found out just how cold and unfeeling people can get. Giving people multiple chances but I don't even get one. I don't think this world can surprise me anymore.

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written on Wednesday, June 11, 2014 @ 11:13 PM ✈

To all those sending me messages, believe me when I say it means a lot. I make sure to remember your feelings when I get down.

Warning: unnecessary rambles (even more so than usual) coming up so please don't bother reading further.

So it pretty much suddenly occurred to me yesterday what my problem is, and it's something I haven't had in a long time so it hit me in the face pretty hard. This is round two of the case of "lost appetite." I guess it pretty much started since last week Wednesday (I remember because I actually felt grossed out by the smell for once during dissection prac??) and I just always feel like something is going to come out of my mouth (vomit) but it never actually does. And so many different foods make me feel "sick" and I just feel no urge to eat anything at all and if you know how much I love food, this is so depressing. Even foods that I normally love I can't even stomach. I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it. Couldn't even have breakfast or lunch. 

You know it's bad when mum comes home and tells me my face looks "yellow" (typical Chinese thing to say meaning you look sick) and that I have large black circles around my eyes.

And to top it all off I just feel like if it was possible, I'd crumble completely right now. My body, my mind, my spirit, it all feels weak. And that someone who was in my life for so long wants nothing more than to say "goodbye" and actually has already left without so much as saying anything else. In the end, I wasn't even worth anymore words than that and now I can't even talk to them. So now all I can do is sit here thinking about all the memories and knowing that they're just worth nothing to anybody now and I don't know what to do.

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written on Tuesday, June 10, 2014 @ 11:24 PM ✈

I don't know why but I just feel so ill even though I don't have any symptoms of a cold, fever, flu or anything like that. My stomach hurts, I don't want to eat and my mind hurts more than anything else.

I really don't know how I'm going to do these finals because more than ever I just feel so down for some reason and I keep asking myself things like "Why am I even here?" and "Why am I doing these things?" 

My inability just frustrates me. I don't know what I should be doing right now.

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written on Saturday, June 7, 2014 @ 11:35 PM ✈

真実に手を伸ばせ
shinjitsu ni te wo nobase 
Outstretch your hand and reach for the truth

Thanks Happy Apple and Elisa for wishing me well! ^^

Whew cannot believe semester 1 classes are over, honestly felt like the longest thing ever. Was going to get ready to buckle down and cram for finals until I realised that stats assessable exercise 3 is due on Tuesday. Can't believe I actually forgot about it. And yes, they made an assessment due during stuvac. Thanks for the consideration *sarcasm*

Anyway today at work while I was grabbing a book I overheard a parent talking to the receptionist about how her son is in that teenage phase and she feels like he's a bit different now, and that he's no longer her baby/child as such and I was like "man, parents have it tough."

Now that I've almost finished everything everything in the game as in post-story mode missions, trophy collecting,  pretty much the only thing left to do is S rank that last insane fight. No words can describe how super excited I am for September to come because this:




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written on Thursday, June 5, 2014 @ 10:42 PM ✈

Urghhh I don't know why but every since yesterday I've just been spending all my time feeling like I'm going to puke any minute. If there is one thing I'm really scared of, it's vomiting because every time that's ever happened to me in the past (especially that time I got food poisoning) it's just so painful. I have no explanation for this except to say I hope Cynthia didn't give me her cold.

Honestly I better not get sick again this is just ridiculous because exactly this time last year I got sick and had to spend stuvac being sick, and on my first uni final ever (chemistry) instead of concentrating on doing the paper, I spent all the exam time going "don't cough, don't cough, don't cough" because my cold was so bad that if I coughed once I'd have a coughing fit and get dirties from everyone doing the exam sigh.

Stats prac exam tomorrow on the last day of uni. Usually we only have one but this year they split it into two, our first prac exam was ANOVA, this time it's regression. Hope it goes well.

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written on Tuesday, June 3, 2014 @ 11:06 PM ✈

Ewwwww going to get home so late tomorrow because prac til 5. Will not miss those afternoons. Cutting up digestive tracts tomorrow going to be FUUUUUUUUUUUUN (not really I just want to go home, too bad you can't do tones over internet).

Also new iOS. Eww.

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written on Monday, June 2, 2014 @ 10:31 PM ✈

Well last Monday of the semester and we got trolled again. We only had two lectures and the one that started at 10am, our lecturer didn't even show up so we essentially went to uni for only one hour. It was our anatomy revision lecture for ANSC as well, SO THANKS FOR THAT. At least when our other lecturers can't make it to a lecture they tell us in advance x_x

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exasperated
written on Sunday, June 1, 2014 @ 11:02 PM ✈

Ugh I really hate how these days I can never play a game on my computer problem free. Truth is, my naruto game has random bouts of disgusting lag which makes scenes that take like 30 seconds to play on a PS3 or xbox, take more than 5 minutes to get through on PC. This is no joke because I've seen videos of the play through on youtube when they use a console but it's just so laggy on computer. Then when you think about how long it takes to get through the whole game it must mean I've easily wasted 20 hours because of lag.

But that wasn't really the problem because I decided to just sit through it. What the problem IS however, is when a mission tells me to find something in 60 seconds even though lag makes it actually physically impossible to complete it even when I do know where it is. Ugh. And by the way PC lag is not because of my old laptop, it's pretty much experienced by everyone who has the pc game (just google it) due to its port. So I tried fixing it but nothing has worked so I don't even know anymore all I can do is ()ノ彡┻━┻

Also today was a very sad indeed because I must now acknowledge that it is the first day of winter. Meaning we have to sit through 3 more months of cold and unbearable crap. I'm so uncomfortable right now it's cold and my fingers are frozen even when I wear gloves. Realistically even after 3 months it will still be uncomfortable since spring is still quite cold. Can't believe winter just started, I feel like I've already lived through 3 months of it and now we have to go through 3 more x_x


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