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Tracy desu yo, pessimist and world’s worst procrastinator. Uni student with still a lot of things to learn. Interests include otome games, Naruto and Japanese.

: Loves pink, food, ice-cream.
Summer is my eternal love.

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So I re-discovered two things last night. One, I can't raise my right arm up because for some reason the pain is equivalent to just pushing down on that lump with all your force. And two, contrary to what I previously believed, which is that if I can't sleep on my right side I'll have to sleep on my left side, well that was wrong. When I sleep on my left side, for some reason, what I consider as the "gentle pressure" of the blanket weighing down on me, hurts my right arm ==  Or just the touch of it. I don't know. Have to sleep with my arm out and for some reason with the lowering temperatures (it's like 22-25 this whole week, what's up with that?) I feel like I'll catch a cold or something.

Oh my god, just discovered that they put up full episodes on the simpsons website so now I can totally watch the old new eps that I always missed because they played on weekdays. Yes yes, I could have watched on youtube etc. but I was totally lazy.

And just now I discovered that this show I was waiting for so long to be subbed, is now subbed oh my god. My backlog of videos to watch is just growing endlessly. So much for doing work or studying for "quizzes" in this mid sem break, we all know where my time is going to go. Procrastination levels have reached a new high. Not the slightest bit of work shall be done this week.

Lol jokes I better balance it right or else I'm screwed. Plus there is a group task for agen tutorial and I can't let the others down so hopefully I won't be a completely slacker orz

And continuing the never ending complaints about my arm, it feels like it's even more swollen today. We were told putting an ice pack on it would help but I can't even do that because just the touch of an ice pack on it hurts so holding it there would be unbearable.

I don't even want to be awake. Because I'm like this, I thought going to bed last night would be blissful. Boy, I was wrong. For me, the key to good sleep is being able to roll around. As soon as I hit the pillow, if I want to fall asleep, roll and face the other way and bam I'll go to sleep.

Wake up in the middle of the night? No worries, just roll and face the side you're not currently facing and I'll just fall back asleep. Last night however? Killer pains coming from my arm. Rolling around is the most painful thing ever. Can't even sleep on my right side either because that requires lying on the side of my right shoulder, where the needle went it. I have to get up, turn over and then go to sleep trying to ignore the pain in my right arm sigh ==

Couldn't even have a sleep in since I woke up with the worst runny nose ever which would not allow me to go back to sleep so I had to get up. Looked in the mirror and my arm now has a raised red lump that's five centimetres in diameter and it hurts like hell whether I'm moving it or not (though obviously hurts more when I use that arm). My arm is also incredibly sore in the area that's 8cm in diameter around the injection spot (so even the part that isn't red).

Ugh please go away already. Damn, that Q fever vaccination is really some potent stuff, nothing else has ever done this. And it's not even a case of "you didn't move your arm around enough after the needle" because I truly did, I used it as I would have if I didn't have the injection but obviously that didn't help. 

Ugh if sleep doesn't bring me peace, and being awake sucks what am I supposed to do. And that ^^^ has nothing to do with the pain in my arm, it just means that I think too much about depressing things while I'm awake so I thought sleep would bring relief but it's too painful.

I hardly ever eat anything after 9pm and just now at 9:30 I decided to make a deep dish cookie because these days my stomach seems to feel "empty" (but it's not really hunger?) when I go to sleep so I thought "just this once I'll make something."

And then in walks mum who tells me off about eating at this hour == She's always on my case about these things. And I explain that it's just this once (I mean the last time I ate past 9 was probably some time in January?) but she doesn't get off my case sigh. Mum, you're the one who came into the kitchen just now asking if we had any cheesecake left. You obviously wanted some so doesn't that mean you would be eating at this hour too ==



^ My 9:30 snack. Ugh just then I read something that made me feel really sick. Thank god I only had a bite left otherwise I'd probably have to chuck it cause some things are just too screwed up. Some people just really make me sick. 

And these days I feel kind of down and I feel like I need medicine or something. And by "medicine" I mean watching funny videos on youtube or reading people's tumblrs to cheer me up. Ugh I should start doing my work.

Whenever Friday is a holiday it really screws with my brain and makes me feel like it's Saturday. Well this week was one short week, only had three lectures and one tutorial.

So yesterday I missed the train because there was a silly long ticket line which I did not anticipate. I mean really? Why is there a ticket line on a Thursday? I mean I did get there 10 minutes earlier than my train so I could get a ticket but that wasn't enough. And that day of all days the machine said "exact fare only" which I am used to, so I always bring exact fare but some stupid people in the line in front of me did not read it and just kept putting in amounts of money that needed change (eg. if the ticket cost $3.50 they'd put in $4 which I assume is all they have on them).

The thing is the machine just spits your money back out and the people don't get why and they just keep putting it in even though the machine will never accept it since it's not exact == And people in front and behind me got frustrated and swore at those people sigh. Oh well, because of that I took a train that comes after my normal one. My normal one gets there at 8:30 but this one gets there at 8:35 which I think is perfect because that way I don't spend too much time waiting around but I've always avoided that train because it was a semi-express and I expected it to be packed.

But it wasn't! There weren't that many people. Maybe I'll catch that one from now on except it doesn't stop at Shirley's stop D: Oh by the way, achievement unlocked. It took me until the fourth week but on Monday, I didn't fall asleep on the way to uni! And I wasn't with anyone so I didn't need to talk to anyone to stay awake :D And on Thursday I didn't fall asleep either, one whole week I didn't fall asleep on the way to uni (y) Though it was only a two day week haha.

I'm getting the feeling that my chem lecturer just likes to do demonstrations for no reason lol. Like yesterday he blew up a balloon filled with helium (BANG!) even though I couldn't see the relevance it had to what we were learning lol. And he also brought out this massiveeee beaker filled with, I think it was sodium hydroxide? He put in some universal indicator, it changed colour, put in some acid, changed colour again. I think he was just talking about pH but we're not even learning that... And then he put in some dry ice and basically he just kept on making it change colour while the dry ice was making it look like "smoke" was coming out of the beaker and I just thought he looked like a witch from those cartoons lol. He said "aww yeah this is what chemistry's all about" and the class just laughed at him.

Oh and mystery solved. The protesters that got arrested were in the other chem lecture room, just as I thought. In any case, after that I crashed the library to do my worksheet before NEEDLE TIME ಥ＿ಥ Unfortunately on my way there I crossed paths with mister poo poo and he followed me and waited with me in the waiting room, totally taking up a seat even though he wasn't even getting anything done and there were others waiting :/ As usual I was freaking out before the needle and he did not make matters any better.

They gave us this sheet asking if we wanted to be part of a survey/research thing into the effects of the vaccination and it makes me laugh because on it, it says "as a university student with a high risk of occupational exposure to Q fever, you have been recommended to receive the Q fever vaccine." Recommended my ass! It was more like we were practically forced into it cause they said if we didn't get it we weren't allowed to do the course orz I also found the "will the study benefit me?" question on the sheet amusing as the answer written was "we cannot and do not guarantee or promise that you will receive any benefits from the study." 

Just before needle time they gave us a sheet saying this:


Why, doesn't all that sound lovely? She checked my skin test site and it's gone all grey-brownish in colour and she's like "well that's negative, and so was your blood test". Ah if only it came back positive then I wouldn't need this vaccination :( And I still don't know my blood type even though I've gotten numerous blood tests sigh.

So off into another room I go, to a different lady. Oh my god I cannot stress how nice she is. Ahhh いい人 ! (○´ω｀○）She was all smiling and gave off a comforting aura and when I went into the room she offered me a jelly baby LOL. I sat down and she started swabbing my arm with an alcohol-dampened cotton ball and asked me if I had any plans for Easter. At this point I couldn't really think properly and just said not much (which is probably true anyway T_T) and she said "oh, well that sounds nice" (she wasn't being sarcastic). 

She then told me she liked the fabric of my dress (I think she meant the print) and said it was really feminine and then stuck the needle in (;ﾟдﾟ) Argh I swear this one hurt so much more than any previous vaccination :'( And it felt like the needle wasn't going in "perpendicular" to my arm, but rather, like parallel or "up" into my arm. I can't explain. And after it was in she was like "there you go, it's done now" but it was so not! Round two of pain began when she started squeezing that stuff out of the needle :( I could fully feel it and ugh I think that hurts more than the needle itself. 

When she took it out I think I must have been wincing because she was like "are you okay?" And to reassure her I just told her I'm bad with needles and she's like "no, you were quite good!" I don't know about that lol. She then offered me another jelly baby but I felt bad and I was like nah you better save some for your other patients xD Anyway, it's clear that she's just trying to distract you during the whole process and some stupid people laugh about how "lame" or whatever that is (looking at you mister poo poo) but she seriously made me feel so much better, because even though you know what she's trying to do, the fact that she put in that effort to comfort people really makes me happy and made me feel a lot better. Plus she really has a kind and genuine aura. Ah if I ever need to go there again I hope she's the one tending to me ^^

And we were supposed to hand in a copy of our "vaccination certificate" to the faculty office to prove that we got it except I have no idea where it is and after the needle I just went to my tutorial and went home... Hopefully I can give it in after mid sem break because if they start checking who's given it in already then they won't find mine and I might get into some sort of trouble? :/ 

When I took off my bandaid last night I couldn't see the dot from where the needle went in but I can see it this morning o_o The area around it has also kind of gone pink and it feels "raised" and I couldn't even sleep on my right side cause my arm felt sore ==

Do you ever just get overwhelmed by the way people are these days? The way they act, their values. It's pretty sad. It seriously makes me think "I don't even want to live on this planet anymore" and that probably seems retarded since I'm not going to go into it properly. Sigh and I feel only one person understands me about this because I've only talked about this with one person. But I have to say I feel a whole lot better knowing someone else feels this way.

On an unrelated note, I did not get woken up at 6:50 today as I made sure to make it clear to my dad that if I went to uni today I'd be doing nothing as all of my classes were cancelled. I then saw this this morning: click here
 
I wonder if that's what the "disruptions" were in the chem lecture I skipped yesterday? Because that definitely looks like my chem lecture room (though it could be chem1101 which runs at the same time in the same building, so I assume their room looks like ours). I'm still puzzled because the article made it sound like it was really rowdy and whatnot but when I listened to the lecture online it didn't seem out of the ordinary except the end when I heard their chants but I'm pretty sure the students were gone by then since the class got dismissed? But in the pictures there are still students in the room...

I shall never know the mystery of what went down that day o.O Unless I ask someone in my lecture tomorrow lol. And those students that got arrested, apparently they aren't even usyd students so yeah.

Ah you know, today was the first day I skipped uni because due to the cancelled prac I only had two lectures which were three hours apart. In actuality, late last night I got an email telling me the agen lecture (the one I had last in the day) was cancelled too due to the strike which meant if I went to uni today it would only be for one lecture. So I guess that made me feel less guilty about skipping?

Even though I told my dad that I wasn't going to uni today he must have forgotten because he still came in at 6:50 to wake me up T_T I was so half asleep I was barely able to mumble "what do you want?" in mandarin and he told me it was time to get up for school and I proceeded to tell him "daaaaaaad I only have one lecture today, I told you I was skipping." Sometimes I wonder if he even understands me because I'm pretty sure my words are pretty slurred when I'm in my half awake state.

I couldn't sleep well after that disturbance T_T Spent the day just doing some work and pondering things. Also I got another email yesterday saying stats is cancelled for the whole week... Normally tomorrow's schedule would be chem, stats, 2 hour break then stats tutorial. I was still going to go tomorrow because I'd still have chem and I was also going to do a make-up chem tutorial and then go home earlier since no waiting for stats.

But then this afternoon I got an email saying that due to some disruptions in today's chem lecture, tomorrow's is now cancelled. T_T Why you do this?! So now I can't be bothered going all that way for my make-up chem tutorial... sigh. Okay at first the strikes made me go "yay Tuesday off!" but now they're just giving me grief. I prefer structure over chaos, thanks. So tomorrow I officially have a day off. Not even skipping, I just legit have no classes. This will probably be the first and last time this happens. Unless another strike happens == I guess I'll have to squish in the tutorial somewhere on Thursday, perhaps during my normal stats prac time.

Which means I'll go home later than everyone else cause they don't have to do a make-up. Oh well that's the price you pay for Wednesday off I guess -shrug- But that strike sucks cause no stats prac means I'll be waiting two hours for a 3pm bio lecture. I'm sure most people will go home instead, should I? I probably will but I feel bad for skipping cause I'm not strong at bio. What I really don't get is why is stats stuff cancelled on Thursday too? The strike is only Tuesday + Wednesday T_T

Ugh and why are classes actually cancelled this time? The last strike we had in like week one didn't affect any of my classes sigh. And I was surprised when I got that email saying today's chem lecture got disrupted by protesters. I listened to the lecture but I didn't notice anything unusual except for the students in the background chatting a bit more than usual? I don't know. But near the end the lecturer just dismissed everyone slightly early o_o And then I think I heard the protesters but by then I'm pretty sure everyone was out of the lecture room? I don't know.

I may have had more things I wanted to say but I don't even remember anymore. Going to write another post just about random things.

Oh right I can't believe the protesters would actually go into the lecture room. I thought they would just stay at the picket lines?

At like 2 o'clock my mum called me to tell me to order pizza tonight because there was nothing to eat and I was like nooo too much unhealthy food today T_T

So five minutes ago my sister came home with my dad after picking up the pizza. She was holding the box on a retarded angle and I asked if she could please hold it flat so it wouldn't go sliding around in the box. And what does she do? She does that thing which I really hate which is saying stuff like "oh noooo it's sliding around what am I going to dooo oh what a shameeeee it's hitting the side of the boooooooox" in that really annoying sarcastic voice.

God I asked you nicely and that just pissed me off so I can't help but say "god this is why I like it when no one's at home so I don't have to deal with this." She then replies with "well I'm the one who has to deal with your random outbursts at the computer when I'm trying to study."

Well sorry. It's not my fault if the uni randomly sends us emails telling us to do things that make me confused or randomly putting things on during my tutorials or pracs, causing me to have rearrange my timetable when it's near impossible due to most days being full. And excuse you, because what you do isn't even studying. Every time I look over your shoulder it's like a minute spent typing something on a word document then 20 minutes of facebook.

And since your comment really pissed me off I can't help but reply with something like "you're one to talk, especially when I know you own a ridiculous amount of make-up products and you don't even make anything." 

That has really being pissing me off for a while because I swear her whole "collection" is worth at least $200, if not more. I'm not one to condemn how obsessed someone is with make-up (wait that was I lie actually I do) but that's not what gets to me. It's because I know all that money for that stuff wasn't given to her by mum or dad and she doesn't work either so that must mean she just freely took the money out of their wallets. Time and time again, because she seems to get something new to add to the collection every week. Or something like that. And that sort of dishonesty really pisses me off.

Maybe it just sounds trivial to everyone else but that's just how I feel. My mood is ruined for the day.

There's nothing like finishing at 11 and getting home at 12 (actually I got home at 12:30 cause I had to walk). This morning I knew I forgot something but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I was on my way back home that I realised I had no keys T_T So I had to break into my own house.

Nah jokes I had to go get the spare key from my gran-aunty who lives one street away. This is like the third time I've done that this year and by now she's probably thinking "stop taking my keys you forgetful child! =="

I also saw my pre-school principal(?) today when I was passing through the shopping centre. He was buying some roses and he told me that today, he has another grandson :O

Oh my tomorrow is going to be so awesome because cancelled pracs WOOHOO! Which means lectures from 9 to 11 and then home time! Technically I have a two hour break and then an agen lecture and then a three hour prac but since that's cancelled why bother staying through the two hour break for a lecture? I get to go home at 11! And besides it's agen blehhhhhh. I'd rather listen to the lecture at home while trying to stay awake instead of falling asleep in front of everyone there. 

The problem with skipping things is that now my brain is like "hmm do you really want to go all that way just for two hours?" At first I was like "I must go!" cause it's bio which I'm still not okay with and stats which is alright. But just then I printed off tomorrow's bio notes and tomorrow they're just talking to us about report writing and now I'm like "aww man that's not that great, I can totally skip." But I won't. It's only the fourth week so I must not be a bad student with crappy attendance (yet).

So excited for tomorrow's short day! Finishing early always makes me happy. And I'm going to skip Tuesday :D Because without the 3 hour prac, I only have one chem lecture, a 3 hour break (since no prac) and agen lecture again. Totally not eager enough for agen to wait out a 3 hour break and even though I would totally go out all that way just for a one hour chem lecture (cause our lecturer is cool and entertaining), I think I'll just stay at home and catch up on sleep and work ^^ Is it bad to say it's okay to miss chem cause we're still doing really basic stuff? It is fundamentals after all. But don't worry, I definitely will still listen to the chem and agen lectures online (though I'm yawning about agen already). 

Pracs got cancelled because since we're having another stupid strike on Tuesday and Wednesday (though only a few teachers are involved, though none of mine are) the lecturers emailed us saying there might not be enough safety staff on hand during our pracs so all pracs this week are being postponed/cancelled even if yours isn't on Tuesday or Wednesday. That way, no one is disadvantaged and we're all in the same boat and so we can all catch up at the same time (otherwise it's a big mess if one class has done it but the rest haven't).

Yay! I'll get to know what it's like to have a free day! Even though it's technically not cause I'm skipping... I wonder why the few arts/law kids that I know all seem to have Tuesdays and Fridays off hmmm.... Unless you're Shirley and don't really have Tuesday off but skip it anyway (tsk tsk). On a side note I saw Chen Don the other day again lol. Would have said hi but he was crossing the road... 

This week is going to be great because only three days of school seeing as there's Good Friday this week :D And next week is break! Gosh so happy. But I will have to spend all that time doing catch up work T_T Also I had a nice sleep in this weekend cause the car that I drive had to be taken to work (and dad won't let me drive the newer car) so I didn't have to get up early and drive やった! ＼( ^o^)／ (That says "yatta!" by the way). Sundays I can't drive now cause dad takes my sister to tutoring and mum refuses to teach me for fear of her life lol.

Despite the sleep in I bet I will be tired when I wake up tomorrow. That's just how it is on Mondays :/

Someone just kill me now. I don't understand how we're supposed to find a journal and analyse the stats in it for our "assessable exercise." 200 words doesn't sound like much but even I don't get how anyone can write that much seeing as every journal on the recommended list seems to contain one measly statistic. 

For example this: "Feed intake did not differ among drinker types (P > 0.05)." 

Why yes, I can totally pull out a 200 word analysis on that. God this is harder than all those times spent trying to write a 1000 word essay on Shakespeare plays that I didn't understand a single word of.

Highlight of the day was the skin and blood test (obvious sarcasm). I got there at 11 as that was my schedule time and there was only about 5 others in my course waiting for their turn and the rest of the waiting room was full with other students who wanted check-ups or goodness knows what (seeing as it's none of our business we can't know those things right?). So I thought if there's only 5 people or so in front of me, I can get out in 20 minutes right?

But for some reason it took like 45 minutes until it was my turn (I don't know why it took so long for those 5 people since mine only took 5 minutes in total). God the whole time I was just freaking out and feeling sick because I just hate needles. It's not like I react like that on purpose, my stomach just goes all funny and my heart starts beating really fast for no reason while I'm waiting. So I finally got called and the lady chatted with me for a bit (asking if I had allergies, the usual stuff) and then she proceeded to do the skin test. That was one nasty looking needle == Before she did that though I told her I really hated needles and she asked me if it was just fear or if I actually faint. Haha sorry lady but I've never fainted. 

Anyway she absolutely insisted I had to get it in my left arm when I asked for it in my right arm. Lady, you've gotten off the wrong foot with me. I protested but she continued to insist, saying it was "because it's easier to blah blah". I say blah blah there because I don't even remember what she actually said because it was some super half-assed reasoning. I don't even get why it matters, how is my right arm any different to my left? In any case unfortunately I had to do it in my left arm because it's just best not to argue with a doctor/nurse...

Sigh my poor previously un-punctured left arm :( She told me I could cry if I wanted to (this was because I told her I cried when I got it done when I was 5) but I didn't but gosh it seriously hurt ಥ＿ಥ The first second when it goes in you're like "oh it's not that bad" because you don't feel anything but from then onwards boy does it hurt! Ugh I will never forget that awful stinging sensation. In fact after it was done, when I recalled the feeling I felt sick :/

I went back to the waiting room because I had to go to someone else for the blood test. When I went in, I warned her that I'm really bad with needles. This lady was nice because I asked if I really absolutely had to get it in my left arm and she said I could get it in my right arm hurray. Unfortunately (cue sigh) she couldn't find a decent vein in my right arm orz And she was like "did you even drink any water today?" Lol oops caught. I didn't do it on purpose, I just normally don't drink a lot of water. 

So yeah, my poor left arm got punctured twice with ugly needles in one day :( I always get things in my right arm so I can at least still do things since my left arm is my writing arm. Everyone says the blood test hurts less than the skin test and it so does not. They are about the same. God that prickle when it goes in -shudder- Thank you lady for trying to distract me during that part by asking me questions, unfortunately I couldn't really answer you well because my mind was too distracted trying to not think about the pain (but inevitably you do think about it). The worst part was when it came out!! Ugh I can't describe it, it just feels weird and hurts like something is being pulled out of you (fail, that is what's happening after all). I've heard people say "it hurts more when the needle comes out, rather than when they put it in." That was never the case for me until today ಥ＿ಥ

When she finished, the first lady (the one who did the skin test) came into the room and saw me and was like "Oh look! You survived!" And since the door was open I swear the whole waiting room heard and now I shall forever be known as the big wuss to those doctors/nurses and those students in the waiting room orz My reaction was to get out of there as soon as possible lol. Unfortunately I had difficulty making a swift exit since I couldn't use my left arm (it felt too fragile after that) so I had to open the door with my right arm. The thing is, the door was pretty "heavy" and my right arm literally has no strength plus it's my habit to open it with my left so it took me a bit too long to open the door so everyone must have been like x_x what a weirdo.

Fuarrr so not looking forward to next week when it's the actual vaccination because the lady says that one will leave your arm feeling sore. WHYYY! No other vaccination has that complication! And don't you dare do that one in my left arm or I will hurt someone == If it has to be sore, it has to be my right arm. I don't get why at orientation they fully ranted about how we were not allowed to do the course if we refused to get vaccinated since it was a danger and yet tomorrow we're going to the farm but we're not even vaccinated yet? Like what? Good job people, good job.



Oh and for the people that got the skin test before me, the site of the injection became really swollen for everyone. It basically looks like a mosquito bite but three times larger but it hurts (and for some it bruises). But after I got mine, even when I waited for a bit of time, nothing happened and my skin was perfectly fine except for bits of blood at the injection site o_o What does that mean?! I'm also wondering what happened to the blood that came out because I didn't wipe/wash it off and it just gradually disappeared as the day went by but it didn't go onto my books or clothes... I don't know about you guys, but after the blood test I saw my blood in the vial and I just felt sick. Seeing all that which just came out from me is not cool :/ I don't care if it's other people's blood or if I like scrape my skin and some blood comes out but I just can't deal with seeing that much of my own blood.

Saw baulko people at scitech today! Wait was that even right. How am I supposed to say it T_T Cause we don't go to baulko anymore but if I say "usyd people" that's stupid cause that would cover oh about, 50000 people. Do I saw baulko-usyd people?

Ugh stupid stupid agen survey assignment thing. There's four questions and yet it takes me so long because I hate survey questions. I totally ranted in the "what don't you like" section and have yet to write anything in the "what you like" section. They say we can write whatever and it'll be fine but I reckon that's a lie and somehow I feel like if I truthfully tell them what I don't like (in the form of constructive criticism of course) they will mark me down anyway. Who knows. And they tell you to refer to the "rubric" when answering the questions and you want to know what the rubric looks like?





And then there was this question too. Can I seriously just circle all the negative ones? I really don't like agen in the least. Like I don't even know what we're supposed to be learning because it's so all over the place and our lecturers just read the slides and that is seriously boring, you have to give me something on top of that.

In any case I didn't finish cause the questions are bleh and so I just checked when it was due again, because I know it's due tomorrow but I just don't know when. Found out it was due 11:59PM and you know what that means?



Finally getting the hang of genstat but seeing that ^ still makes me cry. I still stand by excel > genstat any day. One major pain is that saving anything on this is retarded. You can't save it as one nice simple file. You have to save the input, output, data and graphs as separate files or something ==

It occurs to me that I never addressed why I wrote that as the title. It's because today both of the ladies were like "it's okay, it only hurts like a mosquito bite." I can vouch that that is not true in the slightest. Mosquito bites are painless, I never feel them until I start scratching them and by then the mosquito is long gone (so since I can't feel them I never get to slap them before they bite me). So can doctors stop saying that! Everyone says that and it's NOT TRUE! My mum also said that needles hurt like an ant bite back when I was getting vaccinations for school when I was 5 and I cried because that was so not true and it hurt like hell T_T

Oh goodness it's tomorrow. Skin and blood test noooo. I'm not going to eat anything before it (it's during my lunch time) because I bet I'm going to get really bad stomach pains due to the anticipation. I love how everyone who's already had it done has been telling me that it still hurts days after. Last time, I asked my friend what hurts more, getting the skin test or pinching yourself as hard as possible and she said the skin test hurts more. Today, on the train ride back I pinched myself as hard as possible and it hurt so much T_T And yet the skin test will hurt more than that so isn't that great...

I got excited because I "finished" my assignment at 10 and I was like oh my god I can go to sleep early for once except then I printed out the lecture notes for tomorrow and read all the messages on each of the subject's discussion boards on LMS to see if there was something important I needed to know. Every time I finish reading one board poof more messages pop up and then there's more reading to do T_T Needless to say it is now 11:45 so it looks like I'll be going to bed at 12 or so... Which is still early I guess since it isn't the 1am I went to bed at for the last two days.

So tired I feel like I'm a zombie and today was the very first day I didn't fall asleep on the train ride to uni :O It's because Shirley and I finally got on the same carriage (we get on at different stops) so we just talked on the train so I was able to stay awake. I also didn't fall asleep on the way back and it seems like I'm not that much more tired if I don't have my "nap" on the train. My chest feels worse and now it hurts when I'm just breathing and not coughing or sniffing or whatever. Please go away soon.

Broke my "don't wear jeans or long pants" rule on Monday and Tuesday because it did look rather cold though of course it was quite warm by afternoon. Have to try and keep more warm because I think it's easier to get sick now since my immune system is weak due to not enough sleep. Reinstated the rule today and wore shorts because it was supposed to be warm and yet it was freezing in the morning... Thank god it became warmer by the time I walked to uni.

I'm going to call this a "one shot" assignment. All nighter time. Nah hopefully it won't take that long. But I'm not going to sleep until I finish it. It's not even an assignment, they call it an "assessable exercise" and seeing as it counts towards our final mark I see that as an assignment == It's for stats and apparently it got put up online last Friday except I didn't know about it until someone told me on Monday. It "seems" simple enough, it's medium level maths but the problem is not the maths or stats, but the fact we have to do it on the computer. On excel and genstat.

Excel? Oh that's fine. Genstat? Like how the hell do I use that. So figuring out how to do my maths with that will probably keep me up late sigh. It's a two page assignment and I like the parts that say use a calculator, excel or genstat but I hate the second question which says we have to use genstat == Hopefully I can finish it all tonight and work out genstat except I'm not doing the last question until the weekends because it involves us finding our own report and to write up half a page analysing the stats in the report... Hell no I hate finding my own things because I always switch half way through because I feel like it's not good enough. 

And besides, ain't nobody got time for that because Friday night the agen "assignment" is due. Except once again it isn't called that, it's called "first journal entry" and that name is misleading because it counts towards our marks. Like what. And it isn't even writing a report, or a "journal entry." It literally says "what did you most enjoy about this course so far", "what didn't you like" and I'm like what in holy hell is this like seriously how do our answers to those questions count towards our marks. WHAT IS THIS. It's more like survey questions, not an "assessable task."

So yes, stats one is due Monday at midnight but hopefully I can finish it tonight (except the report analysing part which I'll do on the weekends).

I love love love my Friday sleep ins. Feel totally refreshed when I get up. Really starting to hate agen cause too much work and this ugly assignment due in steps with the first major part due in week 5. Ugh gross bleh go away.

Friday night dad told me "no need to get up early tomorrow for driving, I'm taking your mum to the doctor's." Reaction? OMG OMG OMG SLEEP! It's sad that my life now seems to revolve around wanting to sleep, but having little time for sleep. But an unexpected opportunity to sleep in makes me happy! Though I now realised he could have taken me driving and let mum go by herself... It was nothing serious too, she was just going to get her random rash checked out.

Didn't do much on the weekends, tried to catch up on all my work and it's sad that no matter how much time I spent doing that, I'm still not quite "on top" of it all. I've done all I've needed to do for now but it's better to go ahead right? Also on Sunday I slept in yet still managed to get up right on time to catch something I wanted to see on TV. Aww yeah skills (y) And on Saturday we went to yum cha which I was randomly craving for on Friday lol hurray.

Finally starting to get bio now that I've sat down and read through stuff. I don't get how people skip lectures and say "I'll just listen to it at home"? A lecture that would have taken 50 minutes when sitting at usyd took me like an hour and a half to get through at home o.O Maybe I just suck at taking notes or something, I don't know.

So now we get to Monday, today. It's sad that I spent all weekend recharging and I'm already tired. How will I survive until next weekend? How did I ever survive on this sleep pattern. Also my sister told me that if you drink a lot of coffee you lose your appetite. That would explain where my appetite has gone recently. Actually no it doesn't cause I only drink coffee like twice a week? Which is nothing compared to those that drink it daily. Hey if you drink it daily do you feel like you have no appetite people?

Hating on agen lectures cause no matter which lecturer we have I always end up really sleepy and don't absorb much. Though the lady gets me drifting off into almost-sleep before the guy does. Will probably fail that subject since I haven't learnt anything useful :/ I should probably skip those lectures and do it at home because I feel like I will stay awake somehow if I'm at home. I like how our stats lecturer was all like "ugh agen. It's more qualitative and... how should I put it... it's all about 'feeeeelings' (he says it in that funny drawn out way)" and I was like "lol I totally agree." Give me numbers any day, they require no thought unlike agen which I feel is more like "lol try and write as much as you can about this one thing even though you can probably sum it up in a sentence." Okay all that probably made no sense.

Got my crepe today! I got the cinnamon one and my friend says I should try the lemon and sugar one next time. I also tried the coco mocha (that's how they write it, shouldn't it be cocoa?) but like I told you, coffee has no effect cause I still ended up almost falling asleep in my agen lecture. Being the fool that I was, I thought the coco mocha would be sweeter than the mocha I had last week but it wasn't T_T 

The mocha I had last week didn't need any sugar to be added in but the coco mocha was a bit bitter :( I ended up having to put in two sugars and felt like an unhealthy kid. I said I didn't know the difference between those two coffees and my friend told me mocha would have chocolate powder (which is sweetened) and "obviously" coco mocha had cocoa which isn't sweet. Stupid me. Forever the coffee noob T_T I shall get mocha from now on since it's sweet and nice(ish). The guy who served me my coffee today called out my name in his cool accent and I was like " :O I like his accent." It was also the first time they spelt my name right, they spelt it wrong last time and on my noggi too (if you look closely) and I can't be bothered spelling it for people anymore, it still sounds the same when called out so -shrug- What I really don't get is when people still spell my name wrong in a reply email or text when my name is up the top in your contacts or as part of my usyd email name!!!

Had a break so I followed my friend who was getting her skin and blood test in preparation for next week's vaccinations. God, I do not like sitting there in the waiting room :/ I'm not getting mine until Thursday but I was already freaking out big time because when I'm sitting there I'm only thinking about how much it's going to hurt when I get mine ಥ＿ಥ Hate needles someone save me. My friend was all cool about it and was like "why are you scared, blood tests don't hurt, I get them all the time when I get a check-up." I love how she said that but then when her skin test was done she told me it hurt a lot which made me panic again T_T Everyone says the skin tests hurt a lot compared to blood test and vaccinations.

Gosh can Thursday just never come please please please. I don't care if it's pain "for just a few seconds" because I don't like the pain regardless! Plus even though she was so cool about it, they couldn't find her vein and had to squeeze her arm or something and she told me the blood test ended up hurting quite a bit after all. ARGH I told you! They're totally going to screw up my one and will probably be unsympathetic when I'm sitting there dying of panic ಥ＿ಥ If anyone has a break on Thursday 11am come give me moral support D;

Also apparently one in many people get a really REALLY swollen sore arm not straight after the vaccination, but like three or so months after it. All I can think is "great, that's probably going to end up being me." And the thing is, it's not an immediate reaction so one day maybe poof, swollen sore arm for you. And the faculty people/whoever is making us get these vaccinations are totally unsympathetic!!! They're all like "well if that happens then LOL nothing you can do! Just deal with the soreness and swollen-ness and good luck writing and doing tasks TROLOLOL." WHYYYYY

Not sure if I mentioned it already (I'm getting old and forgetting things already orz) but they scheduled mine at such a crappy time - during my 3 hour bio prac and there's noooo way I can reschedule that because I have no more 3 hour openings. Luckily I got my time switched though I have to move tutorial classes for two weeks. Since it's so early in the semester, I bet when I go back to my old class they'll be like "who is she o_o" sigh don't forget me guys... 

3 hour chem prac was... interesting. Making like a bajilliion things out of these two solutions o_o And I got my nice white lab coat dirty noooo now I have to wash it orz. I feel like those chemicals are still on my hands even though I washed them so many times already. I hate wearing those stupid safety glasses == They never fit properly and always slip down my nose and wearing them for so long makes my head hurt cause they make my vision retarded. It's not blurry but it's more like I can't see as much around me as I can without them on. And why do we have to wear them when I swear we're doing a really basic prac with no danger to the eyes? My lab partner's name is Keely which is funny because I already know a Keely and to me that name is rare so it's strange finding someone else with that name.

Yay early finish tomorrow! Was looking forward to getting homework done and then my boss called me D; He says he needs me cause I'm faster at data entry then he is even though I feel like I still take a long time (not that I'm slow, it's because there's just so much stuff to put in) lol. I have to work tomorrow which means less homework time T_T But hurray money? It's been a week and a half since I last worked. I was so looking forward to getting home but it looks like I shall be away from home sweet home for 13 hours tomorrow :(

So I re-discovered two things last night. One, I can't raise my right arm up because for some reason the pain is equivalent to just pushing down on that lump with all your force. And two, contrary to what I previously believed, which is that if I can't sleep on my right side I'll have to sleep on my left side, well that was wrong. When I sleep on my left side, for some reason, what I consider as the "gentle pressure" of the blanket weighing down on me, hurts my right arm ==  Or just the touch of it. I don't know. Have to sleep with my arm out and for some reason with the lowering temperatures (it's like 22-25 this whole week, what's up with that?) I feel like I'll catch a cold or something.

Oh my god, just discovered that they put up full episodes on the simpsons website so now I can totally watch the old new eps that I always missed because they played on weekdays. Yes yes, I could have watched on youtube etc. but I was totally lazy.

And just now I discovered that this show I was waiting for so long to be subbed, is now subbed oh my god. My backlog of videos to watch is just growing endlessly. So much for doing work or studying for "quizzes" in this mid sem break, we all know where my time is going to go. Procrastination levels have reached a new high. Not the slightest bit of work shall be done this week.

Lol jokes I better balance it right or else I'm screwed. Plus there is a group task for agen tutorial and I can't let the others down so hopefully I won't be a completely slacker orz

And continuing the never ending complaints about my arm, it feels like it's even more swollen today. We were told putting an ice pack on it would help but I can't even do that because just the touch of an ice pack on it hurts so holding it there would be unbearable.

I don't even want to be awake. Because I'm like this, I thought going to bed last night would be blissful. Boy, I was wrong. For me, the key to good sleep is being able to roll around. As soon as I hit the pillow, if I want to fall asleep, roll and face the other way and bam I'll go to sleep.

Wake up in the middle of the night? No worries, just roll and face the side you're not currently facing and I'll just fall back asleep. Last night however? Killer pains coming from my arm. Rolling around is the most painful thing ever. Can't even sleep on my right side either because that requires lying on the side of my right shoulder, where the needle went it. I have to get up, turn over and then go to sleep trying to ignore the pain in my right arm sigh ==

Couldn't even have a sleep in since I woke up with the worst runny nose ever which would not allow me to go back to sleep so I had to get up. Looked in the mirror and my arm now has a raised red lump that's five centimetres in diameter and it hurts like hell whether I'm moving it or not (though obviously hurts more when I use that arm). My arm is also incredibly sore in the area that's 8cm in diameter around the injection spot (so even the part that isn't red).

Ugh please go away already. Damn, that Q fever vaccination is really some potent stuff, nothing else has ever done this. And it's not even a case of "you didn't move your arm around enough after the needle" because I truly did, I used it as I would have if I didn't have the injection but obviously that didn't help. 

Ugh if sleep doesn't bring me peace, and being awake sucks what am I supposed to do. And that ^^^ has nothing to do with the pain in my arm, it just means that I think too much about depressing things while I'm awake so I thought sleep would bring relief but it's too painful.

I hardly ever eat anything after 9pm and just now at 9:30 I decided to make a deep dish cookie because these days my stomach seems to feel "empty" (but it's not really hunger?) when I go to sleep so I thought "just this once I'll make something."

And then in walks mum who tells me off about eating at this hour == She's always on my case about these things. And I explain that it's just this once (I mean the last time I ate past 9 was probably some time in January?) but she doesn't get off my case sigh. Mum, you're the one who came into the kitchen just now asking if we had any cheesecake left. You obviously wanted some so doesn't that mean you would be eating at this hour too ==



^ My 9:30 snack. Ugh just then I read something that made me feel really sick. Thank god I only had a bite left otherwise I'd probably have to chuck it cause some things are just too screwed up. Some people just really make me sick. 

And these days I feel kind of down and I feel like I need medicine or something. And by "medicine" I mean watching funny videos on youtube or reading people's tumblrs to cheer me up. Ugh I should start doing my work.

Whenever Friday is a holiday it really screws with my brain and makes me feel like it's Saturday. Well this week was one short week, only had three lectures and one tutorial.

So yesterday I missed the train because there was a silly long ticket line which I did not anticipate. I mean really? Why is there a ticket line on a Thursday? I mean I did get there 10 minutes earlier than my train so I could get a ticket but that wasn't enough. And that day of all days the machine said "exact fare only" which I am used to, so I always bring exact fare but some stupid people in the line in front of me did not read it and just kept putting in amounts of money that needed change (eg. if the ticket cost $3.50 they'd put in $4 which I assume is all they have on them).

The thing is the machine just spits your money back out and the people don't get why and they just keep putting it in even though the machine will never accept it since it's not exact == And people in front and behind me got frustrated and swore at those people sigh. Oh well, because of that I took a train that comes after my normal one. My normal one gets there at 8:30 but this one gets there at 8:35 which I think is perfect because that way I don't spend too much time waiting around but I've always avoided that train because it was a semi-express and I expected it to be packed.

But it wasn't! There weren't that many people. Maybe I'll catch that one from now on except it doesn't stop at Shirley's stop D: Oh by the way, achievement unlocked. It took me until the fourth week but on Monday, I didn't fall asleep on the way to uni! And I wasn't with anyone so I didn't need to talk to anyone to stay awake :D And on Thursday I didn't fall asleep either, one whole week I didn't fall asleep on the way to uni (y) Though it was only a two day week haha.

I'm getting the feeling that my chem lecturer just likes to do demonstrations for no reason lol. Like yesterday he blew up a balloon filled with helium (BANG!) even though I couldn't see the relevance it had to what we were learning lol. And he also brought out this massiveeee beaker filled with, I think it was sodium hydroxide? He put in some universal indicator, it changed colour, put in some acid, changed colour again. I think he was just talking about pH but we're not even learning that... And then he put in some dry ice and basically he just kept on making it change colour while the dry ice was making it look like "smoke" was coming out of the beaker and I just thought he looked like a witch from those cartoons lol. He said "aww yeah this is what chemistry's all about" and the class just laughed at him.

Oh and mystery solved. The protesters that got arrested were in the other chem lecture room, just as I thought. In any case, after that I crashed the library to do my worksheet before NEEDLE TIME ಥ＿ಥ Unfortunately on my way there I crossed paths with mister poo poo and he followed me and waited with me in the waiting room, totally taking up a seat even though he wasn't even getting anything done and there were others waiting :/ As usual I was freaking out before the needle and he did not make matters any better.

They gave us this sheet asking if we wanted to be part of a survey/research thing into the effects of the vaccination and it makes me laugh because on it, it says "as a university student with a high risk of occupational exposure to Q fever, you have been recommended to receive the Q fever vaccine." Recommended my ass! It was more like we were practically forced into it cause they said if we didn't get it we weren't allowed to do the course orz I also found the "will the study benefit me?" question on the sheet amusing as the answer written was "we cannot and do not guarantee or promise that you will receive any benefits from the study." 

Just before needle time they gave us a sheet saying this:


Why, doesn't all that sound lovely? She checked my skin test site and it's gone all grey-brownish in colour and she's like "well that's negative, and so was your blood test". Ah if only it came back positive then I wouldn't need this vaccination :( And I still don't know my blood type even though I've gotten numerous blood tests sigh.

So off into another room I go, to a different lady. Oh my god I cannot stress how nice she is. Ahhh いい人 ! (○´ω｀○）She was all smiling and gave off a comforting aura and when I went into the room she offered me a jelly baby LOL. I sat down and she started swabbing my arm with an alcohol-dampened cotton ball and asked me if I had any plans for Easter. At this point I couldn't really think properly and just said not much (which is probably true anyway T_T) and she said "oh, well that sounds nice" (she wasn't being sarcastic). 

She then told me she liked the fabric of my dress (I think she meant the print) and said it was really feminine and then stuck the needle in (;ﾟдﾟ) Argh I swear this one hurt so much more than any previous vaccination :'( And it felt like the needle wasn't going in "perpendicular" to my arm, but rather, like parallel or "up" into my arm. I can't explain. And after it was in she was like "there you go, it's done now" but it was so not! Round two of pain began when she started squeezing that stuff out of the needle :( I could fully feel it and ugh I think that hurts more than the needle itself. 

When she took it out I think I must have been wincing because she was like "are you okay?" And to reassure her I just told her I'm bad with needles and she's like "no, you were quite good!" I don't know about that lol. She then offered me another jelly baby but I felt bad and I was like nah you better save some for your other patients xD Anyway, it's clear that she's just trying to distract you during the whole process and some stupid people laugh about how "lame" or whatever that is (looking at you mister poo poo) but she seriously made me feel so much better, because even though you know what she's trying to do, the fact that she put in that effort to comfort people really makes me happy and made me feel a lot better. Plus she really has a kind and genuine aura. Ah if I ever need to go there again I hope she's the one tending to me ^^

And we were supposed to hand in a copy of our "vaccination certificate" to the faculty office to prove that we got it except I have no idea where it is and after the needle I just went to my tutorial and went home... Hopefully I can give it in after mid sem break because if they start checking who's given it in already then they won't find mine and I might get into some sort of trouble? :/ 

When I took off my bandaid last night I couldn't see the dot from where the needle went in but I can see it this morning o_o The area around it has also kind of gone pink and it feels "raised" and I couldn't even sleep on my right side cause my arm felt sore ==

Do you ever just get overwhelmed by the way people are these days? The way they act, their values. It's pretty sad. It seriously makes me think "I don't even want to live on this planet anymore" and that probably seems retarded since I'm not going to go into it properly. Sigh and I feel only one person understands me about this because I've only talked about this with one person. But I have to say I feel a whole lot better knowing someone else feels this way.

On an unrelated note, I did not get woken up at 6:50 today as I made sure to make it clear to my dad that if I went to uni today I'd be doing nothing as all of my classes were cancelled. I then saw this this morning: click here
 
I wonder if that's what the "disruptions" were in the chem lecture I skipped yesterday? Because that definitely looks like my chem lecture room (though it could be chem1101 which runs at the same time in the same building, so I assume their room looks like ours). I'm still puzzled because the article made it sound like it was really rowdy and whatnot but when I listened to the lecture online it didn't seem out of the ordinary except the end when I heard their chants but I'm pretty sure the students were gone by then since the class got dismissed? But in the pictures there are still students in the room...

I shall never know the mystery of what went down that day o.O Unless I ask someone in my lecture tomorrow lol. And those students that got arrested, apparently they aren't even usyd students so yeah.

Ah you know, today was the first day I skipped uni because due to the cancelled prac I only had two lectures which were three hours apart. In actuality, late last night I got an email telling me the agen lecture (the one I had last in the day) was cancelled too due to the strike which meant if I went to uni today it would only be for one lecture. So I guess that made me feel less guilty about skipping?

Even though I told my dad that I wasn't going to uni today he must have forgotten because he still came in at 6:50 to wake me up T_T I was so half asleep I was barely able to mumble "what do you want?" in mandarin and he told me it was time to get up for school and I proceeded to tell him "daaaaaaad I only have one lecture today, I told you I was skipping." Sometimes I wonder if he even understands me because I'm pretty sure my words are pretty slurred when I'm in my half awake state.

I couldn't sleep well after that disturbance T_T Spent the day just doing some work and pondering things. Also I got another email yesterday saying stats is cancelled for the whole week... Normally tomorrow's schedule would be chem, stats, 2 hour break then stats tutorial. I was still going to go tomorrow because I'd still have chem and I was also going to do a make-up chem tutorial and then go home earlier since no waiting for stats.

But then this afternoon I got an email saying that due to some disruptions in today's chem lecture, tomorrow's is now cancelled. T_T Why you do this?! So now I can't be bothered going all that way for my make-up chem tutorial... sigh. Okay at first the strikes made me go "yay Tuesday off!" but now they're just giving me grief. I prefer structure over chaos, thanks. So tomorrow I officially have a day off. Not even skipping, I just legit have no classes. This will probably be the first and last time this happens. Unless another strike happens == I guess I'll have to squish in the tutorial somewhere on Thursday, perhaps during my normal stats prac time.

Which means I'll go home later than everyone else cause they don't have to do a make-up. Oh well that's the price you pay for Wednesday off I guess -shrug- But that strike sucks cause no stats prac means I'll be waiting two hours for a 3pm bio lecture. I'm sure most people will go home instead, should I? I probably will but I feel bad for skipping cause I'm not strong at bio. What I really don't get is why is stats stuff cancelled on Thursday too? The strike is only Tuesday + Wednesday T_T

Ugh and why are classes actually cancelled this time? The last strike we had in like week one didn't affect any of my classes sigh. And I was surprised when I got that email saying today's chem lecture got disrupted by protesters. I listened to the lecture but I didn't notice anything unusual except for the students in the background chatting a bit more than usual? I don't know. But near the end the lecturer just dismissed everyone slightly early o_o And then I think I heard the protesters but by then I'm pretty sure everyone was out of the lecture room? I don't know.

I may have had more things I wanted to say but I don't even remember anymore. Going to write another post just about random things.

Oh right I can't believe the protesters would actually go into the lecture room. I thought they would just stay at the picket lines?

At like 2 o'clock my mum called me to tell me to order pizza tonight because there was nothing to eat and I was like nooo too much unhealthy food today T_T

So five minutes ago my sister came home with my dad after picking up the pizza. She was holding the box on a retarded angle and I asked if she could please hold it flat so it wouldn't go sliding around in the box. And what does she do? She does that thing which I really hate which is saying stuff like "oh noooo it's sliding around what am I going to dooo oh what a shameeeee it's hitting the side of the boooooooox" in that really annoying sarcastic voice.

God I asked you nicely and that just pissed me off so I can't help but say "god this is why I like it when no one's at home so I don't have to deal with this." She then replies with "well I'm the one who has to deal with your random outbursts at the computer when I'm trying to study."

Well sorry. It's not my fault if the uni randomly sends us emails telling us to do things that make me confused or randomly putting things on during my tutorials or pracs, causing me to have rearrange my timetable when it's near impossible due to most days being full. And excuse you, because what you do isn't even studying. Every time I look over your shoulder it's like a minute spent typing something on a word document then 20 minutes of facebook.

And since your comment really pissed me off I can't help but reply with something like "you're one to talk, especially when I know you own a ridiculous amount of make-up products and you don't even make anything." 

That has really being pissing me off for a while because I swear her whole "collection" is worth at least $200, if not more. I'm not one to condemn how obsessed someone is with make-up (wait that was I lie actually I do) but that's not what gets to me. It's because I know all that money for that stuff wasn't given to her by mum or dad and she doesn't work either so that must mean she just freely took the money out of their wallets. Time and time again, because she seems to get something new to add to the collection every week. Or something like that. And that sort of dishonesty really pisses me off.

Maybe it just sounds trivial to everyone else but that's just how I feel. My mood is ruined for the day.

There's nothing like finishing at 11 and getting home at 12 (actually I got home at 12:30 cause I had to walk). This morning I knew I forgot something but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I was on my way back home that I realised I had no keys T_T So I had to break into my own house.

Nah jokes I had to go get the spare key from my gran-aunty who lives one street away. This is like the third time I've done that this year and by now she's probably thinking "stop taking my keys you forgetful child! =="

I also saw my pre-school principal(?) today when I was passing through the shopping centre. He was buying some roses and he told me that today, he has another grandson :O

Oh my tomorrow is going to be so awesome because cancelled pracs WOOHOO! Which means lectures from 9 to 11 and then home time! Technically I have a two hour break and then an agen lecture and then a three hour prac but since that's cancelled why bother staying through the two hour break for a lecture? I get to go home at 11! And besides it's agen blehhhhhh. I'd rather listen to the lecture at home while trying to stay awake instead of falling asleep in front of everyone there. 

The problem with skipping things is that now my brain is like "hmm do you really want to go all that way just for two hours?" At first I was like "I must go!" cause it's bio which I'm still not okay with and stats which is alright. But just then I printed off tomorrow's bio notes and tomorrow they're just talking to us about report writing and now I'm like "aww man that's not that great, I can totally skip." But I won't. It's only the fourth week so I must not be a bad student with crappy attendance (yet).

So excited for tomorrow's short day! Finishing early always makes me happy. And I'm going to skip Tuesday :D Because without the 3 hour prac, I only have one chem lecture, a 3 hour break (since no prac) and agen lecture again. Totally not eager enough for agen to wait out a 3 hour break and even though I would totally go out all that way just for a one hour chem lecture (cause our lecturer is cool and entertaining), I think I'll just stay at home and catch up on sleep and work ^^ Is it bad to say it's okay to miss chem cause we're still doing really basic stuff? It is fundamentals after all. But don't worry, I definitely will still listen to the chem and agen lectures online (though I'm yawning about agen already). 

Pracs got cancelled because since we're having another stupid strike on Tuesday and Wednesday (though only a few teachers are involved, though none of mine are) the lecturers emailed us saying there might not be enough safety staff on hand during our pracs so all pracs this week are being postponed/cancelled even if yours isn't on Tuesday or Wednesday. That way, no one is disadvantaged and we're all in the same boat and so we can all catch up at the same time (otherwise it's a big mess if one class has done it but the rest haven't).

Yay! I'll get to know what it's like to have a free day! Even though it's technically not cause I'm skipping... I wonder why the few arts/law kids that I know all seem to have Tuesdays and Fridays off hmmm.... Unless you're Shirley and don't really have Tuesday off but skip it anyway (tsk tsk). On a side note I saw Chen Don the other day again lol. Would have said hi but he was crossing the road... 

This week is going to be great because only three days of school seeing as there's Good Friday this week :D And next week is break! Gosh so happy. But I will have to spend all that time doing catch up work T_T Also I had a nice sleep in this weekend cause the car that I drive had to be taken to work (and dad won't let me drive the newer car) so I didn't have to get up early and drive やった! ＼( ^o^)／ (That says "yatta!" by the way). Sundays I can't drive now cause dad takes my sister to tutoring and mum refuses to teach me for fear of her life lol.

Despite the sleep in I bet I will be tired when I wake up tomorrow. That's just how it is on Mondays :/

Someone just kill me now. I don't understand how we're supposed to find a journal and analyse the stats in it for our "assessable exercise." 200 words doesn't sound like much but even I don't get how anyone can write that much seeing as every journal on the recommended list seems to contain one measly statistic. 

For example this: "Feed intake did not differ among drinker types (P > 0.05)." 

Why yes, I can totally pull out a 200 word analysis on that. God this is harder than all those times spent trying to write a 1000 word essay on Shakespeare plays that I didn't understand a single word of.

Highlight of the day was the skin and blood test (obvious sarcasm). I got there at 11 as that was my schedule time and there was only about 5 others in my course waiting for their turn and the rest of the waiting room was full with other students who wanted check-ups or goodness knows what (seeing as it's none of our business we can't know those things right?). So I thought if there's only 5 people or so in front of me, I can get out in 20 minutes right?

But for some reason it took like 45 minutes until it was my turn (I don't know why it took so long for those 5 people since mine only took 5 minutes in total). God the whole time I was just freaking out and feeling sick because I just hate needles. It's not like I react like that on purpose, my stomach just goes all funny and my heart starts beating really fast for no reason while I'm waiting. So I finally got called and the lady chatted with me for a bit (asking if I had allergies, the usual stuff) and then she proceeded to do the skin test. That was one nasty looking needle == Before she did that though I told her I really hated needles and she asked me if it was just fear or if I actually faint. Haha sorry lady but I've never fainted. 

Anyway she absolutely insisted I had to get it in my left arm when I asked for it in my right arm. Lady, you've gotten off the wrong foot with me. I protested but she continued to insist, saying it was "because it's easier to blah blah". I say blah blah there because I don't even remember what she actually said because it was some super half-assed reasoning. I don't even get why it matters, how is my right arm any different to my left? In any case unfortunately I had to do it in my left arm because it's just best not to argue with a doctor/nurse...

Sigh my poor previously un-punctured left arm :( She told me I could cry if I wanted to (this was because I told her I cried when I got it done when I was 5) but I didn't but gosh it seriously hurt ಥ＿ಥ The first second when it goes in you're like "oh it's not that bad" because you don't feel anything but from then onwards boy does it hurt! Ugh I will never forget that awful stinging sensation. In fact after it was done, when I recalled the feeling I felt sick :/

I went back to the waiting room because I had to go to someone else for the blood test. When I went in, I warned her that I'm really bad with needles. This lady was nice because I asked if I really absolutely had to get it in my left arm and she said I could get it in my right arm hurray. Unfortunately (cue sigh) she couldn't find a decent vein in my right arm orz And she was like "did you even drink any water today?" Lol oops caught. I didn't do it on purpose, I just normally don't drink a lot of water. 

So yeah, my poor left arm got punctured twice with ugly needles in one day :( I always get things in my right arm so I can at least still do things since my left arm is my writing arm. Everyone says the blood test hurts less than the skin test and it so does not. They are about the same. God that prickle when it goes in -shudder- Thank you lady for trying to distract me during that part by asking me questions, unfortunately I couldn't really answer you well because my mind was too distracted trying to not think about the pain (but inevitably you do think about it). The worst part was when it came out!! Ugh I can't describe it, it just feels weird and hurts like something is being pulled out of you (fail, that is what's happening after all). I've heard people say "it hurts more when the needle comes out, rather than when they put it in." That was never the case for me until today ಥ＿ಥ

When she finished, the first lady (the one who did the skin test) came into the room and saw me and was like "Oh look! You survived!" And since the door was open I swear the whole waiting room heard and now I shall forever be known as the big wuss to those doctors/nurses and those students in the waiting room orz My reaction was to get out of there as soon as possible lol. Unfortunately I had difficulty making a swift exit since I couldn't use my left arm (it felt too fragile after that) so I had to open the door with my right arm. The thing is, the door was pretty "heavy" and my right arm literally has no strength plus it's my habit to open it with my left so it took me a bit too long to open the door so everyone must have been like x_x what a weirdo.

Fuarrr so not looking forward to next week when it's the actual vaccination because the lady says that one will leave your arm feeling sore. WHYYY! No other vaccination has that complication! And don't you dare do that one in my left arm or I will hurt someone == If it has to be sore, it has to be my right arm. I don't get why at orientation they fully ranted about how we were not allowed to do the course if we refused to get vaccinated since it was a danger and yet tomorrow we're going to the farm but we're not even vaccinated yet? Like what? Good job people, good job.



Oh and for the people that got the skin test before me, the site of the injection became really swollen for everyone. It basically looks like a mosquito bite but three times larger but it hurts (and for some it bruises). But after I got mine, even when I waited for a bit of time, nothing happened and my skin was perfectly fine except for bits of blood at the injection site o_o What does that mean?! I'm also wondering what happened to the blood that came out because I didn't wipe/wash it off and it just gradually disappeared as the day went by but it didn't go onto my books or clothes... I don't know about you guys, but after the blood test I saw my blood in the vial and I just felt sick. Seeing all that which just came out from me is not cool :/ I don't care if it's other people's blood or if I like scrape my skin and some blood comes out but I just can't deal with seeing that much of my own blood.

Saw baulko people at scitech today! Wait was that even right. How am I supposed to say it T_T Cause we don't go to baulko anymore but if I say "usyd people" that's stupid cause that would cover oh about, 50000 people. Do I saw baulko-usyd people?

Ugh stupid stupid agen survey assignment thing. There's four questions and yet it takes me so long because I hate survey questions. I totally ranted in the "what don't you like" section and have yet to write anything in the "what you like" section. They say we can write whatever and it'll be fine but I reckon that's a lie and somehow I feel like if I truthfully tell them what I don't like (in the form of constructive criticism of course) they will mark me down anyway. Who knows. And they tell you to refer to the "rubric" when answering the questions and you want to know what the rubric looks like?





And then there was this question too. Can I seriously just circle all the negative ones? I really don't like agen in the least. Like I don't even know what we're supposed to be learning because it's so all over the place and our lecturers just read the slides and that is seriously boring, you have to give me something on top of that.

In any case I didn't finish cause the questions are bleh and so I just checked when it was due again, because I know it's due tomorrow but I just don't know when. Found out it was due 11:59PM and you know what that means?



Finally getting the hang of genstat but seeing that ^ still makes me cry. I still stand by excel > genstat any day. One major pain is that saving anything on this is retarded. You can't save it as one nice simple file. You have to save the input, output, data and graphs as separate files or something ==

It occurs to me that I never addressed why I wrote that as the title. It's because today both of the ladies were like "it's okay, it only hurts like a mosquito bite." I can vouch that that is not true in the slightest. Mosquito bites are painless, I never feel them until I start scratching them and by then the mosquito is long gone (so since I can't feel them I never get to slap them before they bite me). So can doctors stop saying that! Everyone says that and it's NOT TRUE! My mum also said that needles hurt like an ant bite back when I was getting vaccinations for school when I was 5 and I cried because that was so not true and it hurt like hell T_T

Oh goodness it's tomorrow. Skin and blood test noooo. I'm not going to eat anything before it (it's during my lunch time) because I bet I'm going to get really bad stomach pains due to the anticipation. I love how everyone who's already had it done has been telling me that it still hurts days after. Last time, I asked my friend what hurts more, getting the skin test or pinching yourself as hard as possible and she said the skin test hurts more. Today, on the train ride back I pinched myself as hard as possible and it hurt so much T_T And yet the skin test will hurt more than that so isn't that great...

I got excited because I "finished" my assignment at 10 and I was like oh my god I can go to sleep early for once except then I printed out the lecture notes for tomorrow and read all the messages on each of the subject's discussion boards on LMS to see if there was something important I needed to know. Every time I finish reading one board poof more messages pop up and then there's more reading to do T_T Needless to say it is now 11:45 so it looks like I'll be going to bed at 12 or so... Which is still early I guess since it isn't the 1am I went to bed at for the last two days.

So tired I feel like I'm a zombie and today was the very first day I didn't fall asleep on the train ride to uni :O It's because Shirley and I finally got on the same carriage (we get on at different stops) so we just talked on the train so I was able to stay awake. I also didn't fall asleep on the way back and it seems like I'm not that much more tired if I don't have my "nap" on the train. My chest feels worse and now it hurts when I'm just breathing and not coughing or sniffing or whatever. Please go away soon.

Broke my "don't wear jeans or long pants" rule on Monday and Tuesday because it did look rather cold though of course it was quite warm by afternoon. Have to try and keep more warm because I think it's easier to get sick now since my immune system is weak due to not enough sleep. Reinstated the rule today and wore shorts because it was supposed to be warm and yet it was freezing in the morning... Thank god it became warmer by the time I walked to uni.

I'm going to call this a "one shot" assignment. All nighter time. Nah hopefully it won't take that long. But I'm not going to sleep until I finish it. It's not even an assignment, they call it an "assessable exercise" and seeing as it counts towards our final mark I see that as an assignment == It's for stats and apparently it got put up online last Friday except I didn't know about it until someone told me on Monday. It "seems" simple enough, it's medium level maths but the problem is not the maths or stats, but the fact we have to do it on the computer. On excel and genstat.

Excel? Oh that's fine. Genstat? Like how the hell do I use that. So figuring out how to do my maths with that will probably keep me up late sigh. It's a two page assignment and I like the parts that say use a calculator, excel or genstat but I hate the second question which says we have to use genstat == Hopefully I can finish it all tonight and work out genstat except I'm not doing the last question until the weekends because it involves us finding our own report and to write up half a page analysing the stats in the report... Hell no I hate finding my own things because I always switch half way through because I feel like it's not good enough. 

And besides, ain't nobody got time for that because Friday night the agen "assignment" is due. Except once again it isn't called that, it's called "first journal entry" and that name is misleading because it counts towards our marks. Like what. And it isn't even writing a report, or a "journal entry." It literally says "what did you most enjoy about this course so far", "what didn't you like" and I'm like what in holy hell is this like seriously how do our answers to those questions count towards our marks. WHAT IS THIS. It's more like survey questions, not an "assessable task."

So yes, stats one is due Monday at midnight but hopefully I can finish it tonight (except the report analysing part which I'll do on the weekends).

I love love love my Friday sleep ins. Feel totally refreshed when I get up. Really starting to hate agen cause too much work and this ugly assignment due in steps with the first major part due in week 5. Ugh gross bleh go away.

Friday night dad told me "no need to get up early tomorrow for driving, I'm taking your mum to the doctor's." Reaction? OMG OMG OMG SLEEP! It's sad that my life now seems to revolve around wanting to sleep, but having little time for sleep. But an unexpected opportunity to sleep in makes me happy! Though I now realised he could have taken me driving and let mum go by herself... It was nothing serious too, she was just going to get her random rash checked out.

Didn't do much on the weekends, tried to catch up on all my work and it's sad that no matter how much time I spent doing that, I'm still not quite "on top" of it all. I've done all I've needed to do for now but it's better to go ahead right? Also on Sunday I slept in yet still managed to get up right on time to catch something I wanted to see on TV. Aww yeah skills (y) And on Saturday we went to yum cha which I was randomly craving for on Friday lol hurray.

Finally starting to get bio now that I've sat down and read through stuff. I don't get how people skip lectures and say "I'll just listen to it at home"? A lecture that would have taken 50 minutes when sitting at usyd took me like an hour and a half to get through at home o.O Maybe I just suck at taking notes or something, I don't know.

So now we get to Monday, today. It's sad that I spent all weekend recharging and I'm already tired. How will I survive until next weekend? How did I ever survive on this sleep pattern. Also my sister told me that if you drink a lot of coffee you lose your appetite. That would explain where my appetite has gone recently. Actually no it doesn't cause I only drink coffee like twice a week? Which is nothing compared to those that drink it daily. Hey if you drink it daily do you feel like you have no appetite people?

Hating on agen lectures cause no matter which lecturer we have I always end up really sleepy and don't absorb much. Though the lady gets me drifting off into almost-sleep before the guy does. Will probably fail that subject since I haven't learnt anything useful :/ I should probably skip those lectures and do it at home because I feel like I will stay awake somehow if I'm at home. I like how our stats lecturer was all like "ugh agen. It's more qualitative and... how should I put it... it's all about 'feeeeelings' (he says it in that funny drawn out way)" and I was like "lol I totally agree." Give me numbers any day, they require no thought unlike agen which I feel is more like "lol try and write as much as you can about this one thing even though you can probably sum it up in a sentence." Okay all that probably made no sense.

Got my crepe today! I got the cinnamon one and my friend says I should try the lemon and sugar one next time. I also tried the coco mocha (that's how they write it, shouldn't it be cocoa?) but like I told you, coffee has no effect cause I still ended up almost falling asleep in my agen lecture. Being the fool that I was, I thought the coco mocha would be sweeter than the mocha I had last week but it wasn't T_T 

The mocha I had last week didn't need any sugar to be added in but the coco mocha was a bit bitter :( I ended up having to put in two sugars and felt like an unhealthy kid. I said I didn't know the difference between those two coffees and my friend told me mocha would have chocolate powder (which is sweetened) and "obviously" coco mocha had cocoa which isn't sweet. Stupid me. Forever the coffee noob T_T I shall get mocha from now on since it's sweet and nice(ish). The guy who served me my coffee today called out my name in his cool accent and I was like " :O I like his accent." It was also the first time they spelt my name right, they spelt it wrong last time and on my noggi too (if you look closely) and I can't be bothered spelling it for people anymore, it still sounds the same when called out so -shrug- What I really don't get is when people still spell my name wrong in a reply email or text when my name is up the top in your contacts or as part of my usyd email name!!!

Had a break so I followed my friend who was getting her skin and blood test in preparation for next week's vaccinations. God, I do not like sitting there in the waiting room :/ I'm not getting mine until Thursday but I was already freaking out big time because when I'm sitting there I'm only thinking about how much it's going to hurt when I get mine ಥ＿ಥ Hate needles someone save me. My friend was all cool about it and was like "why are you scared, blood tests don't hurt, I get them all the time when I get a check-up." I love how she said that but then when her skin test was done she told me it hurt a lot which made me panic again T_T Everyone says the skin tests hurt a lot compared to blood test and vaccinations.

Gosh can Thursday just never come please please please. I don't care if it's pain "for just a few seconds" because I don't like the pain regardless! Plus even though she was so cool about it, they couldn't find her vein and had to squeeze her arm or something and she told me the blood test ended up hurting quite a bit after all. ARGH I told you! They're totally going to screw up my one and will probably be unsympathetic when I'm sitting there dying of panic ಥ＿ಥ If anyone has a break on Thursday 11am come give me moral support D;

Also apparently one in many people get a really REALLY swollen sore arm not straight after the vaccination, but like three or so months after it. All I can think is "great, that's probably going to end up being me." And the thing is, it's not an immediate reaction so one day maybe poof, swollen sore arm for you. And the faculty people/whoever is making us get these vaccinations are totally unsympathetic!!! They're all like "well if that happens then LOL nothing you can do! Just deal with the soreness and swollen-ness and good luck writing and doing tasks TROLOLOL." WHYYYYY

Not sure if I mentioned it already (I'm getting old and forgetting things already orz) but they scheduled mine at such a crappy time - during my 3 hour bio prac and there's noooo way I can reschedule that because I have no more 3 hour openings. Luckily I got my time switched though I have to move tutorial classes for two weeks. Since it's so early in the semester, I bet when I go back to my old class they'll be like "who is she o_o" sigh don't forget me guys... 

3 hour chem prac was... interesting. Making like a bajilliion things out of these two solutions o_o And I got my nice white lab coat dirty noooo now I have to wash it orz. I feel like those chemicals are still on my hands even though I washed them so many times already. I hate wearing those stupid safety glasses == They never fit properly and always slip down my nose and wearing them for so long makes my head hurt cause they make my vision retarded. It's not blurry but it's more like I can't see as much around me as I can without them on. And why do we have to wear them when I swear we're doing a really basic prac with no danger to the eyes? My lab partner's name is Keely which is funny because I already know a Keely and to me that name is rare so it's strange finding someone else with that name.

Yay early finish tomorrow! Was looking forward to getting homework done and then my boss called me D; He says he needs me cause I'm faster at data entry then he is even though I feel like I still take a long time (not that I'm slow, it's because there's just so much stuff to put in) lol. I have to work tomorrow which means less homework time T_T But hurray money? It's been a week and a half since I last worked. I was so looking forward to getting home but it looks like I shall be away from home sweet home for 13 hours tomorrow :(

 Mini Guide and Tips for Japan (and Korea) - 500th post! 
 June 29th - Sydney to Seoul 
 June 30th - Myeong-dong and Jung-gu 
 July 1st - Itaewon and Jung-gu (again) 
 July 2nd - Apgujeong Rodeo, Gangnam, Yongsan 
 July 3rd - Hongdae, D-Cube City and Yongsan 
 July 4th - last day in Korea. Dongdaemun Markets, Doota and back to our beloved Myeongdong 
 /post break/ What to buy from each Korean brand 
 July 5th - Leaving Seoul for Tokyo (Akihabara) 
 July 6th - Harajuku 
 July 7th - Ginza, Tokyo Station and Marunouchi 
 July 8th – Shinjuku 
 July 9th - Ikebukuro (Sunshine City) and Shinjuku 
 July 10th - Shibuya and Asakusa 
 July 11th - Shinjuku and Odaiba 
 July 12th - Akihabara and Roppongi/Minato 
 July 13th - Mt. Fuji and Kawaguchi 
 July 14th - Kawaguchiko and Harajuku 
 July 15th - Osaka and Tempozan 
 July 16th - Universal Studios Japan 
 July 17th - Namba (Dōtonbori), Shinsaibashi, Tennōji Park then all the way to Kyoto (Gion) 
 July 18th (last day in Osaka) - Osaka Castle, Spa World, Umeda 
 July 19th - Hiroshima and Miyajima 
 July 20th - Hiroshima --> Kyoto 
 July 21st - Arashiyama Area and North-west Kyoto (Ryōan-ji and Kinkaku-ji) 
 July 22nd - Kyoto -> Nara and Osaka (NARUTO EXHIBITION!!) 
 July 23rd - Kyoto back to Tokyo 
 July 24th - Yokohama (Minato Mirai 21)  
 July 25th and 26th (END) - Tokyo -> Seoul -> HOME 

✮ Foster kittens
✮ Clean out closet
✮ Make LOTS of ice-cream
✮ Bake + Cook (and use the molds and kits I bought from Japan)
✮ Study Japanese (JLPT N2 level)
✮ Learn basic Korean sentence structures
✮ Play Dousei Kareshi (~50 hours right there, what with my slow Japanese reading speed)
✮ Finishing playing Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Revolution
✮ Buy Naruto -The Last- Movie DVD and then rewatch it
✮ Start applying for things……..
✮ Invite people over to drink the endless amounts of tea I have
✮ Make things with the alcohol and liquor stash I have (lol)

links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first