夢と現実の間
Between dreams and reality
負ける気がしねぇ！！
Tracy desu yo, pessimist and world’s worst procrastinator. Uni student with still a lot of things to learn. Interests include otome games, Naruto and Japanese.
 : Loves pink, food, ice-cream.
Summer is my eternal love.
Waiting for:
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reflection
written on Wednesday, December 31, 2014 @ 11:56 PM ✈
So it's the end of 2014 and I think it's pretty safe to say it hasn't really been a good year for me. Amongst other things I got overwhelmed by despair more times than I could count, along with the dark thoughts that come with it. On top of that, I felt so sick of always trying so hard to follow what people tell me to do only for them to either not care or go back on what they say (why even bother anymore?). And last of all, I lost someone who I thought was important to me.
And to that person, what I have to say is - I did all the things you told me to do, but you didn't care anyway. When I tried to point that out all you ever did was bring up all my faults. Even though a lot of time passed, I guess I can say it still hurt. Stupidly, I put in effort hoping you would still be around.
Since then I've reflected and I finally realise that to you, I was just never that important. People always tell me things have to be two-way and I realised that no matter what I try to do it's pointless when you don't even care. The truth is you're just not that person anymore. All I ever did was waste time hoping to see the old you again. But now I honestly realise that it's pointless so instead, I'm going to carry on with my life with the memory of your old self deep inside my mind.
I guess the highlights of the year would have to be placement. After the long periods of time where I questioned myself and lost myself again and again, I think placement was always a relief for me. Anyway this year I hope to "live" a little for myself instead of pointlessly working so hard to live up to what people want only for them to let me down when I need a little help.
I only hope the coming year is better than the last.
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reflection
written on Wednesday, December 31, 2014 @ 11:56 PM ✈
So it's the end of 2014 and I think it's pretty safe to say it hasn't really been a good year for me. Amongst other things I got overwhelmed by despair more times than I could count, along with the dark thoughts that come with it. On top of that, I felt so sick of always trying so hard to follow what people tell me to do only for them to either not care or go back on what they say (why even bother anymore?). And last of all, I lost someone who I thought was important to me.
And to that person, what I have to say is - I did all the things you told me to do, but you didn't care anyway. When I tried to point that out all you ever did was bring up all my faults. Even though a lot of time passed, I guess I can say it still hurt. Stupidly, I put in effort hoping you would still be around.
Since then I've reflected and I finally realise that to you, I was just never that important. People always tell me things have to be two-way and I realised that no matter what I try to do it's pointless when you don't even care. The truth is you're just not that person anymore. All I ever did was waste time hoping to see the old you again. But now I honestly realise that it's pointless so instead, I'm going to carry on with my life with the memory of your old self deep inside my mind.
I guess the highlights of the year would have to be placement. After the long periods of time where I questioned myself and lost myself again and again, I think placement was always a relief for me. Anyway this year I hope to "live" a little for myself instead of pointlessly working so hard to live up to what people want only for them to let me down when I need a little help.
I only hope the coming year is better than the last.
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Japan and Korea 2015 Masterlist
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Summer TO-DO List
((to be updated as I think of more things while I procrastinate))
✮ Foster kittens
✮ Clean out closet
✮ Make LOTS of ice-cream
✮ Bake + Cook (and use the molds and kits I bought from Japan)
✮ Study Japanese (JLPT N2 level)
✮ Learn basic Korean sentence structures
✮ Play Dousei Kareshi (~50 hours right there, what with my slow Japanese reading speed)
✮ Finishing playing Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Revolution
✮ Buy Naruto -The Last- Movie DVD and then rewatch it
✮ Start applying for things……..
✮ Invite people over to drink the endless amounts of tea I have
✮ Make things with the alcohol and liquor stash I have (lol)
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my sunshine
links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first
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